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Writing Samples
Band 4

The table below shows the cost of the water in five cities in Australia.

The table below shows the cost of the water in five cities in Australia.
The table represents data about
price of the
Correct word order
the price of
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 in five cities in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the highest cost of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
usage
Use synonyms
charge
Check wording
apply
show examples
per kilolitre ( up to 125kl) was in Sydney,
Linking Words
While
Fix capitalization
while
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Average
Correct article usage
the Average
show examples
 bill per household
the
Verb problem
was the
show examples
 highest cost from Perth.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the
usage
Use synonyms
 per kilolitre ( up to 125kl)
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
high cost was
In sydney
Use the right word
in Sydney
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
(0,98$). Meanwhile, people from Perth and Adelaide pay only $0.42 per kilolitre.
However
Linking Words
, Perth residents pay $1.00 for
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 (over 125KL), and
this
Linking Words
 bill is the most expensive among other cities. Residents of Sydney have an average check for the same
usage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
, with $0.84.
Also
Linking Words
, there are two towns ,
such
Linking Words
 as Brisbane and Adelaide, where the payment for households
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 quite similar at $310 and $312 , respectively. At the same time, in Melbourne, the bill for a household
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 the lowest
price
Check wording
apply
show examples
, which is only $253.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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