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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph gives information about the proportion of the
population
Use synonyms
 living in cities between 1970 and 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that the percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
 in four Asian countries living in cities increased and will continue to grow over the given period. As the graph shows, the percentage of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in the
Philippenes
Correct your spelling
Philippines
 was at 30% in 1970, followed by a small
increase
Use synonyms
 to 40% in 1980.
Then
Linking Words
, it experienced a slight
increase
Use synonyms
 again to around 43% in 2000. By 2020, it rose sharply to 70% and it will grow to 80% in 2040.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the proportion of the
population
Use synonyms
 in Indonesia did not experience any decrease
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it will not be. In 1970,
initially
Linking Words
 the
population
Use synonyms
 was about 12% followed by a gradual
increase
Use synonyms
 to about 22% in 1990. After that, it continued stable growth just under 50% in 2020, and it is predicted it will continue growing until 2040 (55%). Regarding the percentage of the
population
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 in Thailand was 19% in 1970, followed by a slow
increase
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 to 30% in 1990.
Then
Linking Words
, it remained stable at 30% until 2020
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is predicted that it will grow significantly to just under 45%. In terms of the proportion of the
population
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 in Malaysia was 32% in 1970 and 1980, followed by a small rise to 50% in 1990.
However
Linking Words
, it showed a decline to 40% in 2010. By 2020, it grew slightly, but it is predicted that it will
increase
Use synonyms
 significantly to 50% in 2040.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
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