IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the company, sometimes employees refuse to be promoted. In which situations should employees be able to refuse a promotion? Give reasons and examples to support your ideas.

A vast number of humans believe that employees in some companies decline to be promoted, and what is the
time
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 limit
people
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 can refuse it?
This
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 essay will explain why I lean towards the latter. There are several reasons why I totally agree with
this
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 opinion.
To begin
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 with, if
people
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 have studied and have not decided to
work
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 for a long
time
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, they could miss the opportunities to develop what they are following.
For instance
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, if citizens are majoring in math and science, they should not receive promotion opportunities. Because
people
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 are in a high-level position, they spend more
time
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 and have more responsibility for their jobs.
This
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 makes them not focus on their fields, and they will not have the opportunities in order to develop major subjects. They are wasting
time
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 between studying at the university and working at the company. Another can be that they lack of experience to handle heavy responsibility.
This
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 thing reduces the quality of
work
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 , and the most negative impact is that the company can be destroyed.
People
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 should improve practical skills, and the way disadvantages solve the problem.
For example
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, individuals who are studying to teach have tasks related to major marketing. When they spend too much
time
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 in order to improve their knowledge of themself.
Moreover
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, they should find to class of marketingclass, and upgrade their knowledge in a convenient way .
Finally
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, humans do not receive a higher salary than older positive meanwhile, they have more assignments than younger employees. They can manage a lot of tasks on their own
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and others. Humans can receive more responsibility, so they need to spend more
time
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 on their job. So , they do not have
time
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 for their life. If high-speed , they will be stressed, tired, and uncomfortable. Especially, they may not take care of themselves in the details. In conclusion, these days, in many situations when being offered a higher position necessitates transferring place of
work
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 or
highly
Correct article usage
a highly
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 advanced qualification, staff ought to be able to decline the promotion
due to
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 nonconstructive influence on
work
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 performance from individuals to
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
.

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task
Give a clear answer to the question. Write down when a worker should refuse a promotion. List 2 or 3 simple reasons with short examples.
structure
Plan what you will write. Use a plan with an intro, 2 or 3 body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
cohesion
Use linking words to show link between ideas. Words like also, but, so, for example.
grammar
Keep sentences short and easy. Check grammar and spell.
content
Each paragraph should have one main idea and a clear example.
content
The essay tries to talk about a real question.
idea
The writer shows some ideas about life balance and work.
structure
There is a basic plan with intro and ending.
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