IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/she has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday Describe some possible disadvantages Say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

Dear Sarah, Hello, I hope everything is fine with you. I am writing to you to give you some advice about going on a camping holiday for the first time. I think camping outside, making a campfire and sitting around it
while
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 singing a song would be so inspiring.
Moreover
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, getting acquainted with new individuals with diverse attitudes or cultures would be so interesting, and you can find new friends as well.
Besides
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, teamwork activities like making delicious cuisine, setting up a camp, playing, dancing and so forth can be so wonderful.
Although
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 you may have problems with taking a shower in the area, bring your dry shampoo with you.
In addition
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, you may get sick easily, so bring medicine as well. I definitely would like to come with you because I am free
this
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 summer. I am highly thankful that you find me suitable to get advice from. I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. Best wishes, Your friend.

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coherence
Break the text into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph has one main idea.
task
Add more detail on why camping is fun and more on the downsides.
content
Give a simple list of problems and how to fix them.
style
Use short, simple words and short sentences.
tone
End with a warm wish to go with your friend.
tone
Friendly tone and good wish to help a friend.
content
The idea that camping can be fun is clear.
format
The letter has a greeting and a closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventure
  • serenity
  • outdoors
  • refreshing
  • hustle and bustle
  • inherent
  • foster
  • distractions
  • cost-effective
  • unpredictable
  • wildlife
  • adequate preparation
  • physical demands
  • researching
  • campsite
  • lasting memories
  • mutual interests
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