Playing a musical instrument is one of the most important achievement for any child. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people believe that playing a musical

intrument

Correct your spelling

instrument

one

Use synonyms

of the most important

Use synonyms

achievement

Fix the agreement mistake

achievements

show examples

for any child.

While

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

show examples

agree that

mucis

Correct your spelling

music

can be highly beneficial for any

Use synonyms

children's

Fix the agreement mistake

child's

show examples

development,I do not think

Correct pronoun usage

it is

show examples

tha

Correct your spelling

the

most important

achievement

Use synonyms

One

Use the right word

show examples

the

one

Use synonyms

hand,

learing

Correct your spelling

learning

play

Verb problem

to play

show examples

instrument

Use synonyms

brings several advantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

,it helps

children

Use synonyms

improve their creativity and

self expression

Use the right word

self-expression

show examples

For example

Linking Words

,playing the piano or guitar allows them to show their emotions through music.

Secondly

Linking Words

,it develops discipline and patience because mastering an

intrument

Correct your spelling

instrument

requires regular practice and dedication.

In addition

Linking Words

,playing in

school

Correct article usage

a school

show examples

band or orchestra can encourage teamwork and social interaction,which are valuable life skills.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,it is difficult to argue that playing a musical

instrument

Use synonyms

is the most important

achievement

Use synonyms

Children

Use synonyms

can achieve success in many different areas depending on their interests and talents.

For instance

Linking Words

excllling

Correct your spelling

excelling

in sports,science,or art can

also

Linking Words

provide a sense of pride and motivation .

Moreover

Linking Words

,some families may not have the financial means to afford instruments or lessons,so

emphasizing

Use the right word

emphasising

show examples

music as the greatest

achievement

Use synonyms

may create unnecessary pressure. In my view,playing a musical

instrument

Use synonyms

is certainly valuable,but it should be considered as

one

Use synonyms

of many possible achievements in a child's life .What matters most is that

children

Use synonyms

are supported to discover their talents,whether in music,academics,or other fields. In conclusion,

learing

Correct your spelling

learning

instrument

Use synonyms

is rewarding ,but it should not be seen as the most important

accomplisment

Correct your spelling

accomplishment

for every child.

aghareed22alshehri

Aug 20, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Fix many spelling and grammar mistakes to make ideas clear.

structure

Plan your essay with a clear intro, 2 or 3 body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.

content

Give more clear ideas and examples that show why music is good but not the top goal.

vocabulary

Use simple words from common list; make sentences short and easy to read.

task response

You show a clear view that music is valuable but not the best goal.

content

You mention ideas like piano, guitar, and school band.

coherence

You try to show both sides, not just one idea.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

225 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

play music
learn
practice
habit
discipline
focus
memory
mind
study
child
group
class
team
confidence
perform
shows
cost
time
access
balance
life
support
plan
goal
progress

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you want to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter * Describe the problem you had with the tickets * Say why you were unhappy with the staff * Suggest what action the train company should take
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing this letter to express my dissastification of your staff service quality when I need assistance.
6.5
band
You recently attended a conference and would like to give a presentation to your colleagues about it. Write a letter to your manager and include: The topic of the conference Why you want to present about it When it could be done #conference #presentation #colleagues
Hope this letter finds you in good spirits, I am writing this letter to express my enthusiasm for our upcoming product launch, and if you will allow I would like to share the experience that I have gained during the tech conference that I attended last week.
6
band
With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?
Some people argue whether we should follow the demand for some minerals and use undiscovered areas for all prices. I concur that we should not sacrifice our planet for economic purposes. In this essay, I will elaborate on this issue and explain my point of view.
7
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, it has become very popular for talented people to choose to study in one country and to work in another. Some people argue, that professions like doctors or engineers, whose studies are very expensive to the country, should stay and contribute back, while their opponents claim, that it is a personal choice of the individual where to work.
6
band
In many countries around the world, it is common for families to run their own business. Some people think that keeping the business within the family is the best approach while other believe this could lead to problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is no denying the fact that each person has money goals and ways.

Playing a musical instrument is one of the most important achievement for any child. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Word Count

You recently attended a conference and would like to give a presentation to your colleagues about it. Write a letter to your manager and include: The topic of the conference Why you want to present about it When it could be done #conference #presentation #colleagues

With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, it is common for families to run their own business. Some people think that keeping the business within the family is the best approach while other believe this could lead to problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.