IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many cities, public parks and open spaces are being replaced by housing and commercial buildings. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

In recent years, our world has been facing numerous challenges, among which constructing houses and buildings in open
land
Use synonyms
 has emerged as a serious concern.
This
Linking Words
 issue has triggered serious consequences for individuals and society as a whole.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline the primary causes of the problem and offer feasible solutions to address it. The increasing demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing
due to
Linking Words
over-population
Use the right word
overpopulation
show examples
 is the root cause of
this
Linking Words
 problem.
This
Linking Words
 is in order to meet the public demand, the public parks and playgrounds are taken over by big builders in order to make
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
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, to make condos and houses.
This
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
 leads to the loss of the only place children and old people have to play and exercise
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the kids are left with no option other than staying at home and playing video games.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the illegal construction depriving natural resources
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a significant impact on the environment
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can lead to natural disasters like
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
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 and floods.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the metro cities are so occupied that wherever you turn your
head
Punctuation problem
head,
show examples
 you see massive
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 all over the place
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
 people claustrophobic and unable to breathe. When it comes to solutions, the government can play a significant role in maintaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public places by not
authorizing
Use the right word
authorising
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
construction companies to build anything on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community
land
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the local authorities can come together and
stringent
Verb problem
implement stringent
show examples
 rules and regulations so that
promote
Verb problem
apply
show examples
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 and open places
to be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 treated as communal
that
Check wording
spaces that
show examples
belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
show examples
 to all individuals. People should come forward and start understanding that whatever we do to nature, we get back in the same manner.
Therefore
Linking Words
, authorities and local individuals need to communicate about the importance of open
land
Use synonyms
 and start creating on protecting it.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 issue stems from converting vacant
land
Use synonyms
 to buildings in order to gain profit and meet public demand, but it is not insurmountable. By implementing appropriate strategies
such
Linking Words
 as making laws against illegal construction and creating awareness, society can overcome
this
Linking Words
 challenge and move towards a more sustainable future.

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development
Add more real facts or examples to back up each main point.
cohesion
Use a clear link from one idea to the next in every paragraph.
structure
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and follow the intro plan.
language
Check grammar and spelling to make the idea clear.
content
The essay has a clear topic and a plan in the opening.
structure
There is a closing paragraph that sums up the view.
content
The piece tries to look at cause and fix.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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