Essay Question: In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or mall to do their shopping. Is it a positive or a negative development?

Currently,
people
Use synonyms
prefer shopping centres over local shops,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is
making
Verb problem
causing
show examples
small shops
closed
Verb problem
to close
show examples
. In the past,
people
Use synonyms
usually visited small marketplaces in their
neighborhoods
Use the right word
neighbourhoods
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, with the development of modern cities and technology,
people
Use synonyms
’s shopping habits have changed a lot. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
the big shopping malls are more capable than others. For the reason that they have lots of different
stores
Use synonyms
for
families
Use synonyms
and they have greater offers than others.
In addition
Linking Words
, shopping centres are considered safer and more comfortable places, especially for
families
Use synonyms
with children. Unlike traditional markets, they offer parking areas, air conditioning and modern facilities.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in large
stores
Use synonyms
, many
people
Use synonyms
watch a movie after shopping.They offer international cuisines from fast food to traditional meals.
Besides
Linking Words
, they have grocery
stores
Use synonyms
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
people
Use synonyms
don't have to wander around the city for different stalls.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
they own a wide variety of products and fashion.
However
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
don't like the offers or the range of the things they sell.
For example
Linking Words
, the clothes are the same and expensive.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the small boutiques have their own style and
cozy
Use the right word
cosy
show examples
area for customers to explore and shop for their own fashion.
Families
Use synonyms
and younger generations like small traditional places like these shops because they can find unique products. Small vendors
also
Linking Words
provide a warmer atmosphere, where sellers know their customers personally.
This
Linking Words
creates trust and a friendly shopping experience. Yet, these markets have a small amount of product that they sell and struggle to keep up
over
Change preposition
with
show examples
big malls. All in all, the small local boutiques can’t compete with other markets
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
nowadays many
people
Use synonyms
choose big
stores
Use synonyms
for good quality and modern areas. In my opinion, big marketplaces are best for shopping and
good
Change preposition
for good
show examples
quality time for
families
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
local vendors should be supported by other stalls and the government, because they are valuable for culture and economy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make your view clear in the first paragraph. State if you see the change as good or bad.
content
Give stronger, clear reasons. Explain how malls help families and how small shops lose out.
coherence
Link ideas well. Use simple transitions between points, like also, but, and then.
grammar
Check words and grammar. Use short, simple sentences and avoid long phrases.
structure
There is a plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
You discuss both big shops and small shops.
coherence
There are some clear points about safety and comfort in malls.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: