IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think a job not only provide income but also social life. others think it is better to develop social life with people you don't work with . discuss both views and give your own opinion

The social
life
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’s issues are very developed in the modern world. There are some , including me, who think the public must create their social
life
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 near their
colleagues
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,
while
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,
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apply
show examples
 others believe
people
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 should dissociate and develop social
life
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 far away from their
colleagues
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. In
this
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 essay, I will outline some possible reasons for both views. The number of
people
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 who think working causes not only revenue and income , but
also
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 creates a social
life
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 that is very important for our personal development. There are very reasons for
this
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 mindset. The important reason is that these days, individuals spend several hours at
work
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 with their
colleagues
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 , so it is quite normal to form an intimate relationship with those they have probably shared a common way of thinking.
Additionally
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, the bodies we task with are more confident, because they passed an entrance admission interview , so it is better to choose our friend among these
people
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. Others think it is better to have a social
life
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 formed apart from our
colleagues
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.
People
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 spend hours and hours at
work
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; if they continue their relations with them outside of
work
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, it causes many problems ,
such
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 as mixing private and professional
life
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.
Although
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colleagues
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 normally have common interests and hobbies, it is better for them to have a social
life
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 with different individuals who have different mindsets to improve and develop their own way of thinking. In conclusion, it is quite common these days to see
people
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 who have a very successful social
life
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 with their
colleagues
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,
while
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 others think it is very important to form a social
life
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 apart from
colleagues
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. I personally believe we could have an interesting social
life
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 with those we
work
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 with ,
although
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 we should preserve a barrier between private and professional
life
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.

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structure
Add a clear view in one line in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
content
Give one reason for each side and then a clear own view.
content
Use simple examples that relate to daily life.
coherence
Use linking words to show order, like first, next, and finally.
language
Check grammar and sentence form so ideas are easy to read.
content
There is an attempt to discuss both sides of the topic.
structure
The essay has a clear end that shows the writer’s view.
organization
There are two body paragraphs to show each view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Income
  • Social network
  • Colleagues
  • Emotional support
  • Teamwork
  • Work-related challenges
  • Collaborative projects
  • Workplace events
  • Professional growth
  • Mentorships
  • Career advancement
  • Social life
  • Stress
  • Burnout
  • Diverse social life
  • Perspectives
  • Well-being
  • Mental health
  • Personal development
  • Professional life
What to do next:
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