IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in the city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In the prevailing era,
people
Use synonyms
 use different modes of transportation to commute. It is an argued issue whether
cars
Use synonyms
 are the most effective approach to travel or
bicycles
Use synonyms
 in urban areas.
This
Linking Words
 essay will not only discuss both viewpoints
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 my opinion is
also
Linking Words
 highlighted
while
Linking Words
 concluding
this
Linking Words
. I believe that
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 is the optimal choice. Commencing with the most salient reason why
people
Use synonyms
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 in cities is that
this
Linking Words
 means of travel saves their time. Long distances can be covered by
cars
Use synonyms
 within a few minutes because many places in a city are far away from each other.
For example
Linking Words
, workaholic
people
Use synonyms
 live away from their workplace. So,
cars
Use synonyms
 help them
to
Verb problem
apply
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reduce their distance.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 like
cars
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, despite the
above given
Replace the word
above-mentioned
show examples
 arguments, I believe that
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are the most suitable way. The prominent one is to reduce pollution in cities
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it is eco-friendly. As compared to
cars
Use synonyms
,
bicycles
Use synonyms
 do not emit obnoxious gases that pollute the air.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 cannot honk the horns on the roads
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 may reduce noise pollution by using
this
Linking Words
. To illustrate, if 50% of trips under 8
kilometers
Use the right word
kilometres
show examples
 are made by them, it can reduce CO2 by 55 million tonnes annually.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can use
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though
people
Use synonyms
 like
cars
Use synonyms
 for
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 because time can be saved by using them in urban areas, I contend that
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are the most effective method for
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 since they can help in
preventing
Verb problem
preserving
show examples
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
.

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development
Add more detail and examples for each idea to fully cover the prompt.
structure
Make your view clear in each paragraph and restate it in the final conclusion.
content
Be careful with facts or numbers; keep them simple or check they are right.
language
Use short, easy sentences and check for awkward word use.
idea
The essay shows a clear view and a choice.
structure
There is a basic turn of idea: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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