IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Practice 1: These days, the wealthy in society often throw away perfectly good products in order to replace them with more up-to-date models. Do the environmental disadvantages of this development outweigh the economic advantages?Give reasons for your answer and

Nowadays, products
in
Change preposition
of
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 good quality are often replaced by new items that can be a trend among upper-class citizens.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 there are many positive values to the economy, it
also
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 adds negative aspects to the
environment
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. In my opinion, I strongly believe that the environmental drawbacks have been noticeable, because of theirs affected rather than economic benefits. There are several benefits to developing
economy
Correct article usage
an economy
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 by replacing old products with modern ones in a wealthy society. The reason for
this
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 trend is upper classes commonly have
need
Correct article usage
the need
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 to improve their lives, so they tend to change to the modern models, which are more efficient and stable.
Moreover
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, updated designs look better and fit contemporary lifestyles and demands.
For example
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, people usually change their phone
by
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 new one with more utilities
while
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 it
still
Verb problem
is still
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 in good condition.
However
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, in spite of these advantages, wasting outdated items despite their value can bring about several drawbacks to the
environment
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. (pollution, electronic waste.. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers to the
environment
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 of modernising frequently
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 are obvious than the possible benefits. Personally, I’m absolutely believed that
this
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 updated replacement should be carried out selectively to respond to life without affecting the
environment
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Plan your writing. Start with a clear view in the first sentence and keep it to the end. Each paragraph should have one main idea that supports your view.
coherence
Make a clear link between ideas. Use simple words to connect sentences, like 'also', 'however', 'for this reason'.
content
Give more real examples or data. For instance, give a number or clear effect of waste, not just 'pollution' or 'electronic waste' as a list.
grammar
Check grammar and sentence form. Fix mistakes like 'their affected' and 'I’m absolutely believed' to 'I believe' or 'I am convinced'.
strength
The writer tries to show a clear view on the topic.
content
There is some use of a real example (phone) to ground the idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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