Subjects such as art, sport and music are being dropped from the school curriculum for subjects like information technology. Many children suffer as a result of these changes. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often maintained that schools should drop modules like
art
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, sports, and
music
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from the curriculum for an alternative subject like information technology .
While
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some people hold opposing
views
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views,
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as kids are struggling to adjust
as a result
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of these changes, I am firmly convinced that the disadvantages of these changes outweigh the advantages.
This
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essay will outline the main reasons for my stand
while
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also
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considering possible drawbacks. The first and perhaps most significant treason is that modules like
art
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,
music
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, and sport are essential and students' curriculum as they offer a refreshing, relaxing air between packs of heavy stress lessons throughout the day.
This
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is largely
due to
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the fact,
this
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is the only time when learners develop new hobbies and interests during the school day .
For instance
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, a study published by New York University concluded that 90% of
admission
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admissions
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worldwide enjoy attending institutions every day just because they can practice their interests any classes like
art
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,
music
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and sports.
Although
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some argue that these subjects are a waste of time and resources in the learning process,
it is clear that
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they strengthen students' passion toward learning . A
further
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point worth considering is that learners can grow up pursuing important roles in the future
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,
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like being well-talented athletes, musicians , and artists . In essence,
this
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means that
,
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apply
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the educational program will prepare student for their future preferred careers .
For example
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, my father growing up had a tight-knit relationship with football
,
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;
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it was the only reason he enjoyed attending school.
As a result
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, he grew up to be a football trainer and a well-known club. Admittedly, providing these
syllabus
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syllabi
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may overtake places for other studies like information technology, but the long-term benefits ,
such
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as sparking
,
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apply
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passion
,
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apply
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and career interest, are more valuable. In conclusion , it is
also
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Usage
Correct article usage
The usage
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of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score. significant to have
schedule
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scheduled
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like information technology, to keep up with the world around us, but you can't just drop many preferred subjects like
art
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,
music
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, and sport . I strongly believe that there should be a balance between school desires
,
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apply
show examples
and students' wants.

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grammar/vocabulary
Fix many grammar errors and wrong word use so your meaning is clear.
structure
Make each paragraph start with a clear point and stick to one idea in that part.
examples
Give a clear example that fits the point and explain how it shows your idea.
clarity
Use simple words and short sentences; avoid long, hard phrases.
stance
You show a clear view that arts should stay in the school list.
content
You use some real life examples to back up your view.
ideas
Your idea that art and sport can help future work has worth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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