IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It has been argued that gift giving should not be encouraged, because money is often wasted on things that people do not like or want. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

In the modern era, exchanging gifts with each other on memorable occasions is a tradition. It had been observed that some humans think that giving gifts is are waste of money. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement to a large extent. My inclination is elaborated in the ensuing paragraph and relevant examples. The foremost argument to justify my stand is that the present sometimes is not as valuable as compared to other things ,
such
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 as cash.
For instance
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, celebrate a child's birth and give a toy set
that is
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 expensive, and they broke it breaks, it will be garbage , but if people gave a wage
instead
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 of a treat, it would be better. It is
also
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 true that many presents end up collecting dust or being returned.
Furthermore
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, the other reason to prove my point is that social norms around birthdays, holidays, and weddings
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 often force relatives into spending out of obligation. To illustrate, presents are mandatory if you are attending a ceremony no matter whether it usefully or not.
Moreover
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,
instead
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 of tokens, finding alternatives is are good opportunity ,
such
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 as handwritten letters are more lovable.
To conclude
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 the discussion, it can be said that despite the fact of spending funds on gifts, my reasons for giving payment
instead
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 of tokens and making it compulsory for every event are not necessarily logically acceptable.

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task
Use a clear plan: intro, 2-3 body paragraphs, and a clear conclusion.
task
State your view in one clear sentence at the start and restate it at the end.
coherence
Stick to one idea per paragraph and give short, clear examples.
coherence
Use linking words like 'also', 'for example', 'however' to join ideas.
grammar
Keep the grammar simple. Use short sentences.
grammar
Avoid long run‑on sentences and fix pronoun/article errors.
content
The essay shows a clear stance against gift giving as waste.
coherence
There are some examples to back up the view.
structure
The idea is easy to read with a straight flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sentimentality
  • tradition
  • consumerism
  • personalization
  • thoughtfulness
  • reciprocity
  • intentions
  • social norms
  • emotional connection
  • materialism
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