IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company represantative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your latter: ● Introduce yourself ● Explain the situation ● Say what action you would like the company to take

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to enquire about my
camera's repairment
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camera
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. My name is Ali,
I
Correct word choice
and I
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am in my final year at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Dalhousie University.
Photograpy
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Photography
 is my passion, and I do various online gigs to
fullfill
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fulfil
 my living
expense
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expenses
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 and support my education. Unfortunately,
last
Linking Words
 week, I upgraded my gear by adding
up
Change preposition
apply
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a new camera. I bought it for around $1500
which
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, which
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 is a premium price to pay. After reaching
at
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apply
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my home, out of
excitment
Correct your spelling
excitement
, I tried to capture a couple of photos.
Then
Linking Words
, I realised that there was some issue with the
flash light
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flashlight
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I returned it to get it fixed. I would kindly request to
expediet
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expedite
 the repairing process, as
its
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it's
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 impacting my freelance work and
I
Verb problem
I'm
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 facing trouble
to handle
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handling
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 my clients.
Also
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, the alternative option that I can
chose
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choose
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 is to get it replaced by some other camera
and
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, and
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 I am willing to pay the extra cost. I look forward to hearing back from you. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours faithfully, Mark

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language
Fix spelling and grammar. Use plain words and check common form of words like 'repair', 'photography', 'fulfill', 'excited', 'expedite'.
structure
Make the note in clear steps. One part says why you need repair now, and the next asks for action. Use separate short lines or short paragraphs.
content
Be careful with facts. Use the same name all through the letter and give the date of the talk with the company.
tone
Keep a formal tone. Do not use long run on sentences. Keep one idea in one sentence.
content
Ask for a clear action and set a time. For example, ask for repair by a date or a replacement and a cost if you pay extra.
tone
Polite tone in both greeting and closing, which fits a formal letter.
content
The letter shows what you want and the impact on your work.
content
The writer shows care for the work and money spent on a new camera.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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