IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The quality of life in huge cities is becoming worse. What are the causes? What can be done?

Nowadays , living in a modern and big metropolis is increasing , which leads to a decrease quality of life . There are many reasons for
this
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 problem , and many solutions have been proposed. In
this
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 essay, I will outline some possible causes and ways to
solvethem
Correct your spelling
solve them
. These days, people face many difficulties in a
huge
Correct word choice
large
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 place. The main one is
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 costs of living, including paying for rent or an apartment and a car or payment of living accommodations.
Additionally
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, they have to compete with each other to get a good job. The second issue which confronts them is that there are large populations in big downtown areas to live and work, so it leads to a polluted climate and environment.
Furthermore
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, it is quite a trend that encourages people to the overconsumption and have a luxury lifestyle because of social media and advertisements that cause stress and mental pressure to obtain a higher salary to force people to work harder and faster. Some argued that there are solutions to
this
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 problem. One of them is to live in neighbourhoods which are far away from city centres’ streets, where the cost of living is lower and affordable , so individuals could spend a part of their revenue on paying the accommodation payment. It is suggested frequently counselling services to relieve mental pressure and decrease the level of daily stress. In conclusion, access to accommodation for living in a populated and big capital led to a decrease in the quality of living.
However
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, there are solutions to solve
this
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 problem ,
such
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 as changing personal lifestyles and demanding an affordable counselling service to reduce stress.

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structure
Start with a clear thesis that states what you will talk about. Say two causes and two fixes.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea and a link to the task. Use topic sentences at the start.
content
Give a concrete example for each point. Now ideas are general.
language
Watch grammar and use simple words. Fix articles and plural forms.
style
Use short sentences and clear links to connect ideas.
content
Some good ideas on cost of living and stress.
organization
Essay shows a plan to discuss causes and a fix.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overpopulation
  • Strained resources
  • Commute times
  • Economic stress
  • Community events
  • Affordable housing
  • Environmental regulations
  • Green spaces
  • Urban environments
  • Socialize
  • Foster
  • Tackle
  • Strategies
  • Implementing
  • Pollution
What to do next:
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