IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below gives information on the main reasons to visit public libraries in the UK in 1991 and 2000

The pie chart below gives information on the main reasons to visit public libraries in the UK in 1991 and 2000
The pie chart shows information about the individuals using in public
library
Use synonyms
 and the main reasons for visiting in the UK in two different years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
main reason that people go to the
library
Use synonyms
 is
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 borrow or return
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 in both 1991 and 2000. In 1991, the figure consisted of four factors
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1991.
However
Linking Words
, in 2000, a new cause was added to the list of those factors
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000 which was named with borrow or return
videos
Use synonyms
. In terms of borrowing or returning
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
, 65% of people visited the
library
Use synonyms
 for
this
Linking Words
 purpose in 1991, and that was the highest proportion among all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
4 factors, and
then
Linking Words
 it dropped in 2000 by 55%. The two reasons
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 studying and reading newspapers or
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
show examples
magazine
Punctuation problem
magazine,
show examples
 were estimated
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10% and 15% in 1991,
then
Linking Words
 experienced a slight decline in 2000 by 2% and 5%, respectively. 
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, the percentage of
obtain
Verb problem
apply
show examples
information
in
Verb problem
obtained in
show examples
 1991 was 10%, and
then
Linking Words
 in 2000 showed a slight rise and doubled to 20%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
library
Use synonyms
 offered a new cause
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
called
Verb problem
was called
show examples
videos
Use synonyms
, and there were no
videos
Use synonyms
 in 1991. Despite that fact, in 2000,
borrow
Wrong verb form
borrowing
show examples
 or
return
Wrong verb form
returning
show examples
videos
Use synonyms
 was recorded by 18%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words library, videos with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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