IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Currently,
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
straight forward
Use the right word
straightforward
show examples
 to
travel
Use synonyms
 to different
places
Use synonyms
 for tourism than years ago
due to
Linking Words
 the multiple options that
people
Use synonyms
 have.
This
Linking Words
 is good, because
people
Use synonyms
 have opportunities to know new
places
Use synonyms
 and cultures and
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
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 for the economy of the
country
Punctuation problem
country,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 their incomes related to accommodations and restaurants.
However
Linking Words
, there are disadvantages
such
Linking Words
us
Use the right word
as
show examples
 high rates of crime in
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
 areas and
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increases
Fix the agreement mistake
increase
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
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 vandalism of protected areas or monuments.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
trye
Correct your spelling
try
 to cover
if
Change preposition
whether
show examples
 the pros outweigh the cons. Turning to the advantages,
due to
Linking Words
 many options to
travel
Use synonyms
, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 have access to visit different countries and cultures. In the
last
Linking Words
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 the number of airlines and the routes they cover, significantly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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, and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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 the number of passengers transported
were
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 enormous. I had the opportunity to know New Zealand,
it has
Verb problem
which
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 happened because a New
Zealand’s
Check wording
Zealand
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 airline offered good prices and direct flights from Buenos Aires to
Aukland
Use the right word
Auckland
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. So many
people
Use synonyms
traveled
Use the right word
travelled
show examples
 to know
this
Linking Words
 exotic country. Another advantage is that the tourism industry increases
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 profit and
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the job positions for their citizens in hotels and restaurants
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the investment in touristic infrastructure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as the
increment
Check wording
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 crime in crowded areas and trains or subways. When I went to Paris and I visited the
Eifel’s
Use the right word
Eiffel’s
show examples
 Tower, somebody opened my backpack and
stolen
Wrong verb form
stole
show examples
 my wallet.
This
Linking Words
 is very common in zones where
people
Use synonyms
 are distracted
tacking
Use the right word
taking
show examples
 pictures or watching see sights.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Another
show examples
 disadvantage is the cases of vandalism from drunk visitors
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 do not have respect for the
places
Use synonyms
 that they are visiting. One example was when a tourist from Germany climbed the pyramid of Chichen Itza and ruined the monument
causing
Punctuation problem
, causing
show examples
 indignation in the
people
Use synonyms
 present there. Nowadays, there are many options to
travel
Use synonyms
 given the opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 to know different
places
Use synonyms
 and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 the economy of the visited countries.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are many disadvantages
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 robberies to distracted visitors and
increments
Check wording
increases
show examples
 in vandalism from disrespectful
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and I hope to continue
Use synonyms
travel
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 to different countries.

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language
Fix grammar and make small, clear sentences. For example, say 'It is easy now to travel' instead of 'Currently, is straight forward'.
coherence
Make the text flow. Use simple link words such as and, but, also to join ideas in order and keep one idea per paragraph.
content
Check names and facts. Use true spell and correct places.
content
Clear view is stated.
structure
Essay tries to show both sides.
examples
There are real examples used.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • boost local economies
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • environmental degradation
  • deforestation
  • overcrowding
  • commodification
  • authentic cultural experiences
  • revenue
  • perspective
  • globalization
  • sustainable tourism
  • heritage sites
  • local customs
  • appreciation of diversity
What to do next:
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