IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What are the problems associated with this trend, and what measures can be taken to tackle it?

In some countries, the increase in the overweight population has emerged as a critical concern. The major reason behind
this
Linking Words
 trend is because of the lack of proper nutrition among the generation,
coupled with
Linking Words
 the sedentary lifestyle they follow .
However
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 my opinion, proper dietary consultation and fun workout plans can be a feasible solution to mitigate the issue.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the significant causes of
this
Linking Words
 problem is widespread consumption of junk food , which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 loaded with calories and
lack
Correct subject-verb agreement
lacks
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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essential nutrients , contributing to weight gain . Many people in the country, particularly the working population, prefer to consume highly processed foods , which are convenient and tasty ,
instead
Linking Words
 of taking
nutritional
Replace the word
nutritionally
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 cooked foods.
In Addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 ,Modern work life demands long working hours and poor work-life balance , leaving individuals with less time and motivation to focus on their health.
This
Linking Words
 poor
routine
Punctuation problem
routine,
show examples
 combined with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unhealthy dietary
habits
Punctuation problem
habits,
show examples
 has been
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
a
few
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 reasons behind the increase in obesity and decline in the level of fitness of the country
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a promising solution to tackle these problems
can be
Verb problem
is that
show examples
 organisations can recruit a certified dietary nutritionist who can conduct a counselling session and awareness programme on the long-term impact of unhealthy meals and provide a personalised dietary food plan curated for specific individuals to align with their health goals and lead an abstemious life.
Additionally
Linking Words
, workout events can be implemented by
the companies like
Correct word order
companies like the
show examples
 FUN WALK challenge and provide perks
such
Linking Words
 as coupons to
boosts
Wrong verb form
boost
show examples
 the motivation of the employees. A Survey carried out by a
Multi
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
multinational company showed that
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 number
steps
Change preposition
of steps
show examples
 walked by
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
 doubled after the introduction of special perks
To conclude
Linking Words
, the rise in average weight and drop in fitness are primarily caused by
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 inactive lifestyle and improper nutrition.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,which can be achieved via professional dietary advice and enjoyable exercise routines, these concerns can be effectively addressed , leading to a healthy and active society

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structure
Work on idea flow and use clear link words to connect points. Make sure every paragraph has one main idea.
language
Improve grammar and punctuation; fix capitalization errors and sentence structure.
content
Add at least one clear, specific example with data or evidence for each point.
style
Keep sentences short and simple to avoid long, hard to read lines.
task response
Ensure the answer directly addresses the task: state the problem, give causes, then give a solution plan.
content
Position on the topic is clear and the writer discusses a plan to fix the issue.
structure
Uses signposts and a two-part idea (causes and solutions).
examples
Includes an example of a company survey to support a point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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