The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
individuals
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think that applying severe punishments for
traffic
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violations
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is a great method to significantly enhance the safety of the streets,
while
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others believe that
this
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is not a good way to prevent accidents. I completely concur that increasing punishments is an incredible way to make
individuals
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feel safer.
Firstly
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, increasing the amount of money for
violations
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is considered a deterrent for
individuals
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. Human beings can be more willing to break the law if they feel that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
no consequences, so making
traffic
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violations
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more costly can prevent a considerable amount of those incidents.
Furthermore
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, people can be sensitive when it comes to spending a lot of money because they make a huge effort to earn that cash. To give an illustration, if the government raised the
violations
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for wrong parking, the accidents caused by
this
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erroneous practice would decrease.
Moreover
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, some
individuals
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are afraid of having a bad record. Having a significant number of offences can lead to a bad
traffic
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record, which can have a detrimental effect. One of the major effects is that getting insurance will be more costly, and one might not be able to afford it.
Additionally
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, if someone reaches a certain number of offences, they might lose their driving license permanently.
This
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can lead to increased safety on the roads.
To conclude
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, I completely agree that having strict laws to organise the
traffic
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is essential to ensure more safety to human beings,
while
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reducing the punishments for breaking the law can lead to an increased number of accidents on the streets.

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task
Your view is clear. To gain a higher band, discuss the other side too and add more strong examples.
coherence
Improve flow by linking ideas with simple words like also, and, but, for example, next, then.
coherence
Build each point in a longer way. Give details or facts to support each idea.
strength
You take a clear stance and keep it through the piece.
strength
The idea on a bad record and price tag is easy to see.
strength
Conclusion restates the view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • driving
  • road
  • safety
  • offence
  • fine
  • prison
  • ban
  • licence
  • driver
  • police
  • rule
  • crash
  • speed
  • drunk
  • danger
  • design
  • education
  • training
  • check
  • camera
  • time
  • cost
  • plan
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