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Band 4

The tables below give information about the average number of iPhones and Samsung phones sold each day in 5 countries during 2010 and 2020.

The tables below give information about the average number of iPhones and Samsung phones sold each day in 5 countries during 2010 and 2020.
The data presents the approximate numbers of
Use synonyms
IPhone
Correct your spelling
iPhones
 and
Use synonyms
Samsung
Fix the agreement mistake
Samsungs
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 sold daily within 5 countries between 2010 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
sell
Check wording
sales
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 of
Use synonyms
IPhone
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iPhone
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 rose steadily
thought
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through
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 the period
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 trade of
Samsung
Use synonyms
 fluctuated. The
amount
Check wording
number
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 of iPhones sold on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis in Vietnam was 3500 in 2010, which rocketed dramatically to 46000 in 2020. In
Bangladesh
Add a comma
Bangladesh,
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 the number of
Use synonyms
IPhone
Use the right word
iPhone
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 users doubled from 6900 to 13800. In Algeria, Iraq,
Correct word choice
and Zambia
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Zambia
Punctuation problem
Zambia,
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 the daily numbers of the
sell
Check wording
sales
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 were less than 5000
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the average increase was
to
Change preposition
apply
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just below 500 for each of them. Trade for
Samsung
Use synonyms
tripleted
Correct your spelling
tripled
 to 108100 in 2020,
whereas
Linking Words
 Vietnam and
Irac
Correct your spelling
Iraq
 noticed
Correct article usage
a rose
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rose
Replace the word
rise
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 over the years ( 2300 to 12700 in Vietnam and 1400 to 9200 in Iraq, respectively). In Zambia
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
Samsung
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 buyers declined drastically from 4100 to 2300 by 2020. Algeria experienced the same
-
Punctuation problem
,
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 4600 in 2010 and 2100 in 2020. Only in Bangladesh and Iraq high number
sell
Verb problem
of sales
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 for
Samsung
Use synonyms
 experienced,
while
Linking Words
 other remaining countries preferred
Use synonyms
iPhone
Correct article usage
the iPhone
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 throughout the years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words iphone, samsung with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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