IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people think that governments should ensure that their people stay healthy; others think it’s the responsibility of the individuals. Discuss both sides of the argument and provide your opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
belive
Use the right word
believe
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 that
socitys
Correct your spelling
society's
health
Use synonyms
 is one of
athouritys
Check wording
the authorities'
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
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responsibility
Punctuation problem
responsibility,
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while
Linking Words
 other thinks humans should be responsible
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own
health
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
a Alot
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Alot
Correct your spelling
lot
 of
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 governments should inspire
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
people
Use synonyms
 to eat
more healthy
Correct word choice
healthier
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 food and make more healthy
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
.
Also
Linking Words
,
Acourding
Correct your spelling
according
 to WHO ( World
Use synonyms
health
Fix capitalization
Health
show examples
org
Check wording
Organisation
show examples
)
Many
Punctuation problem
, Many
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people
Use synonyms
 do not eat healthy food because it is
expinsive
Correct your spelling
expensive
.
In addition
Linking Words
, High
commition
Correct your spelling
Commission
 should find a way to make
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 food affordable.
However
Linking Words
, numbers of humans thinks
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 should take responsibility for
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own
health
Use synonyms
. They
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 the governments can not track
very one
Use the right word
everyone's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 because some nations like
china
Fix capitalization
China
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 and
america
Fix capitalization
America
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 have more than 100 million
man
Check wording
people
show examples
 living in
Use synonyms
thier cityes
Correct your spelling
their cities
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 it is more
logecal
Correct your spelling
logical
 that they can not track them all.

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structure
Plan an intro, body, and ending. State your view clearly in the last part.
content
Give more points for both sides and finish with your opinion.
structure
Use simple linking words to show how ideas fit together.
language
Check spelling and word form to be clearer.
content
You talk about both sides.
content
You mention ideas from health groups like WHO.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health measures
  • Vaccination programs
  • Health care
  • Fundamental right
  • Medical services
  • Financial status
  • Personal responsibility
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Personal choices
  • Diet and exercise
  • Harmful behaviors
  • Government intervention
  • Overregulation
  • Personal freedoms
  • Health-related decisions
What to do next:
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