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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below gives information about salaries of secondary/high school teachers in five countries in 2009.

The table below gives information about salaries of secondary/high school teachers in five countries in 2009.
The table illustrates the revenues of
Linking Words
secondly
Replace the word
secondary
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/high school lecturers in five countries in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the teacher working in Luxembourg had the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
Use synonyms
salaries
Fix the agreement mistake
salary
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, and those who teach in
Japan
Use synonyms
 or
Korea
Use synonyms
 had
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 a
vital
Correct word choice
significant
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 amount of time to achieve maximum
salaries
Use synonyms
. It can be clearly seen that teaching in Luxembourg could obtain the highest money, accounting for over 112000$.
Likewise
Linking Words
, their maximum
salaries
Use synonyms
 and starting
salaries
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 were higher than others：the former achieved 80000$, and later were 139000$.
However
Linking Words
, other countries had almost the same level of revenue, but the starting
salaries
Use synonyms
 of
Korea
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
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 were lower than other
between
Check wording
countries between
show examples
 28000$ to 30500$. Another salient point is that teaching experience would not influence
salaries
Use synonyms
 in Australia and Denmark.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
Korea
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 were extremely
care
Replace the word
careful
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 about teacher experience.
Although
Linking Words
it’s
Verb problem
it
show examples
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
 over 34 years,
it’s
Use the right word
its
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 salary would spike to 84500 in
Japan
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 and 62400
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
Korea
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries, japan, korea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondary/high school teachers
  • annual salary
  • gross income
  • net salary
  • cost of living
  • education funding
  • gender pay gap
  • teaching hours
  • years of experience
  • additional qualifications
  • economic indicators
  • average wage
  • currency conversion
  • educational disparities
  • international comparison
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