Nowadays, people tend to change their jobs more often than in the past. Why is this the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, it has become increasingly common for youngsters to switch careers multiple

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

during their working life. There has been a lot of speculation about what the underlying reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

phenomenon are, and whether

this

Linking Words

should be seen as a positive trend or not. In the past,

career

Use synonyms

choices

where

Use the right word

were

show examples

largely determined by one's academic background or family expectations, leaving

individuals

Use synonyms

with limited options.

As a result

Linking Words

, it was almost impossible for youngsters to change their occupation and long-term commitment to one profession was the norm.

However

Linking Words

, with the advent of

industrial

Correct article usage

the industrial

show examples

revolution, e-learning platforms have advanced to

such

Linking Words

an extent that they now enable

individuals

Use synonyms

to acquire

skills

Use synonyms

without

specialized

Use the right word

specialised

show examples

education.

Consequently

Linking Words

career

Use synonyms

mobility has become a widespread trend among young people in contemporary

society

Use synonyms

. Despite

Linking Words

this

Fix the agreement mistake

these

show examples

opportunities, frequent change in

career

Use synonyms

is still perceived negatively

Change preposition

show examples

both

society

Use synonyms

and employers. In terms of

society

Use synonyms

, job-hopping can undermine income stability, making it harder for

indiviuals

Correct your spelling

individuals

to establish a secure foundation for future lives.

Moreover

Linking Words

, from a corporate standpoint, high employee turnover can be seen as a lack of discipline and commitment. In

such

Linking Words

cases,

this

Linking Words

can act as a critical disadvantage when applying for a job

due to

Linking Words

the employer's

preferece

Correct your spelling

preference

for longer tenure. Indeed, it is evident that moving

work force

Use the right word

workforce

show examples

can result in jeopardize

career

Use synonyms

reputation and financial stability.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I firmly believe that diverse

career

Use synonyms

experience has considerable advantages in

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

show examples

job market. First of all, the tremendous growth in AI has led to automation in most working procedures, and adaptability is

prioritized

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prioritised

show examples

over basic technical

skills

Use synonyms

Career

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mobility provides opportunities for

individuals

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to acquire first-hand knowledge from diverse

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

, enhancing not only critical thinking

skills

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

leadership and creativity.

For instance

Linking Words

, a marketer will be more capable of

utilizing

Use the right word

utilising

show examples

data when obtaining industry experience.

Therefore

Linking Words

, frequent

career

Use synonyms

transitions can

embrace

Verb problem

help

show examples

people

Verb problem

apply

show examples

become multi-skilled, resulting in long-term

benifit

Correct your spelling

benefit

. In conclusion, in spite of the raised concern that

consistant

Correct your spelling

consistent

career

Use synonyms

changes can foster instability in social status and

imcome

Correct your spelling

income

, I believe that the positive consequences

outweighs

Correct subject-verb agreement

outweigh

show examples

the negative. In

comtemporary

Correct your spelling

contemporary

society

Use synonyms

, varied work experience and

acqusition

Correct your spelling

acquisition

of diverse

skills

Use synonyms

enable

individuals

Use synonyms

to broaden their perspective in order to meet the demand of rapid technological change.

yunsuh2004

Aug 26, 2025

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improvement

Task response is good as it answers both questions and shows a view. But you should give stronger reasons for your view and add clear, real examples to back them up. Make your stance clear in the intro and keep it in the follow paragraphs.

improvement

Coherence and cohesion are okay. Link ideas with small bridge words like also, but, for example. Break long sentences into two short ones. Make the flow from one idea to the next easy to follow.

strength

There is a clear idea of the topic and a stated view.

strength

Some good links between ideas and a general plan of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

371 words

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Nowadays, people tend to change their jobs more often than in the past. Why is this the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some believe that the government should support artists like musicians, painters, and poets, while others argue that it is a misuse of funds. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the government's responsibility.Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effects on people’s health and well-being. What can be done to discourage people from using their cars?