IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that museums are mainly a source of entertainment, while others think they are primarily educational. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A museum is a place where people visit to gain
education
Punctuation problem
education,
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 accompanied by entertainment. Museums contain a variety of articles , some are historic and others are antique. Different folks have different views regarding it
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 many think that it is only a source of amusement and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has no educational value. Bodies come and go; they see different items decorated in glass windows
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and enjoy. But others say it has a role in providing intelligence regarding many unknown facts. Both views may be correct, but in my opinion, knowledge is a more obvious thing that we gain by visiting a museum. Every country has at least one building, which is a source of its national and cultural heritage. Visiting
such
Linking Words
 a place can bombard your mind with new insights, and it is essential for new generations to learn their history. For
such
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 experiences, many schools have included '
trip
Correct article usage
a trip
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 to a museum' as a regular part of students' extracurricular activities, so that they are not unaware of
this
Linking Words
 side of education.
However
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
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public stopover museums as part of their leisure activity, and have some enjoyable moments with their family and friends, they do not dive deep into the background know-how of items shown in the display. Whenever a group of friends come on a vacation to a new city, they try to explore different parts of the city and may stop by
such
Linking Words
building
Correct article usage
a building
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 just to complete their task list. They do not find the historical background of that area as interesting as others might, for them
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 is merely an area where they spent some time together, and have memorable moments. In my opinion, museums are a corner where intelligence is found in abundance, in every nook and corner of the building, there are new facts and figures, every historic piece is telling a tale about its past, and every antique item is showing the history of its existence. If you are a keen learner and sharp observer, you can gain much from a simple-looking building. In the end, a menagerie is a building which carries a mix of education with entertainment
,
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;
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 it lies in the eyes of the visitor and the mind of the explorer what he wants to achieve.

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structure
Plan the essay with four clear parts: intro, two body paragraphs, and a short conclusion. Each part should have one main idea.
task
For task response, show both views and give your own clear view in a final line.
vocabulary
Use easy words. Keep to simple form. Avoid long phrases that may block meaning.
content
The essay tries to discuss both sides.
content
The opinion is clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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