You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: •Say what you have learned in your present job, •Suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department, •Explain why you do not wish to leave the company.

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Dear Mr. Ali Ashoorian, I am Pardis Ghobadi, an expert midwife, and I am writing

this

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letter to express my interest in being transferred to another department within our Shahid Rajai Hospital in Tonekabon City for my professional development.

Firstly

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, I was hired at our hospital a couple of years ago and have gained many experiences and skills in the labour department. I learned how to hear the embryo's heartbeat before birth, and I

also

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learned how to deliver pregnant women and perform the baby's first tasks after birth.

Secondly

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, I believe that moving to the women's department on the first floor would be mutually beneficial. I know you are seeking a person who understands and has knowledge about all things related to women's health.

Hence

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, my background in the labour sector has provided me with a perspective that I can bring to the female section.

Finally

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, I do not wish to leave the clinic because I appreciate the work culture and the good communication between hospital staff. Thank you for considering my request. I would be happy to discuss

this

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further

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at your convenience. Yours faithfully, Pardis Ghobadi

pardisghobadiTue Feb 04 2025

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Task Achievement

You could expand on specific skills or achievements from your current role to further illustrate your qualifications for the new position.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider adding transitional phrases between ideas to enhance the flow of your letter.

Coherence and Cohesion

The letter has a clear structure with a appropriate greeting and closing.

Task Achievement

The tone of the letter is professional and respectful, which is suitable for the context.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

189 words

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