IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Television, newspaper, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Television, newspaper, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.
I largely agree that contemporary
media
Use synonyms
 devote excessive attention to the private lives of public figures.
This
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 phenomenon is driven by commercial incentives and a voracious public appetite for sensationalism, and it has serious social and ethical consequences.
First,
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the economics of modern
media
Use synonyms
 strongly encourage intrusive coverage. Tabloids, entertainment websites and even mainstream outlets rely on page views and advertising revenue; salacious stories about celebrities reliably attract clicks.
As a result
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, editorial priorities often shift from investigative reporting of public interest to the continuous recycling of rumours, relationships and trivial scandals. The net effect is an erosion of journalistic standards, with gossip displacing more substantive news.
Second,
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obsessive
media
Use synonyms
 scrutiny inflicts tangible harm on individuals and society. Famous people — despite their public roles — retain a right to privacy, and constant exposure can lead to mental health problems, reputational damage and, in extreme cases, physical danger.
Moreover
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, the public’s fixation on celebrity trivia trivialises civic discourse: when airtime is dominated by whose marriage failed or which star behaved badly, pressing issues
such
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 as healthcare or corruption receive less attention. Admittedly, some argue that celebrities trade privacy for public influence, and that
media
Use synonyms
 coverage can hold powerful figures accountable.
While
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this
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 is partly true, there is a meaningful distinction between legitimate scrutiny of actions relevant to public life and voyeuristic intrusion into wholly personal matters. Responsible journalism should prioritise the former. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
media
Use synonyms
 coverage of public figures can serve the public interest when focused on relevant behaviour, the prevailing emphasis on private gossip is excessive and harmful. A recalibration of editorial ethics and greater public
media
Use synonyms
 literacy are needed to restore a healthier balance.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words media with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "figures" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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