IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or tavel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

After finishing high
school
Use synonyms
 and starting
university
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 is usually the best time to travel, as most
people
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 are not tied to a workplace yet. Many countries want to encourage
this
Linking Words
 to help young
people
Use synonyms
 learn about other cultures and build self-confidence.
However
Linking Words
, having a long break before studying
also
Linking Words
 comes with disadvantages I want to discuss in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand,
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 the world at some point in life can build a lot of self-confidence
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 many big decisions have to be made constantly. These decisions can include finding work, buying a car, or booking a hotel without the help of parents.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by learning to get around in a foreign city with a different culture and language, decision-making skills can be developed. Not only that, but meeting different
people
Use synonyms
 from different countries can
also
Linking Words
 reduce racism and teach social skills.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, taking a break from high
school
Use synonyms
, which prepares
people
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 for
university
Use synonyms
, can have a negative impact on starting a new degree program. Without the constant routine of going to
school
Use synonyms
, many
people
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 lack the motivation to go back to
university
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 and study again. I myself wanted to study when I was in
school
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, a year of
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 showed me that going back to
university
Use synonyms
, learning theory for another three years without earning money, seemed like a waste of time. Whilst
this
Linking Words
 can be good for the individual, for society as a
whole
Punctuation problem
whole,
show examples
 it can be disadvantageous if fewer
people
Use synonyms
 want to study important professions. In conclusion,
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 after
school
Use synonyms
 has many benefits, creates a culturally and socially open society, and gives many young students a confidence boost. I firmly believe
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 can be very beneficial;
however
Linking Words
, the decision has to be made by everyone for themselves.

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task response
Make your main view clear in the first part. State your main claim and the big ideas you will talk about.
task response
Give one or two small, real facts or examples for each point to show how traveling helps or hurts.
coherence and cohesion
In each paragraph, begin with a small line that says what the paragraph will show. This helps to know the idea fast.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to move ideas, like also, but, however, and so, to keep the flow.
coherence and cohesion
Finish with a short end that restates your view and sum up the main points. Do not add new ideas there.
task response
Good balance of sides with both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Clear use of connect words to show link between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Hands-on experience
  • Resume
  • Career prospects
  • Time management
  • Problem-solving
  • Communication skills
  • Independence
  • Maturity
  • Autonomous
  • Character
  • Confidence
  • Cultural exposure
  • Open-mindedness
  • Globalized societies
  • Financial benefits
  • Academic momentum
  • Structured learning environment
  • Peer progression
  • Anxiety
  • Career timelines
  • Travel restrictions
  • Disappointment
  • Wasted time
What to do next:
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