IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is often suggested that the government should focus on funding education rather than healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In ancient times and in today’s modern world,
, education
Punctuation problem
Education
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 and
fitnesscare
Correct your spelling
fitness care
 are considered basic necessities for humans. The
GoverningBody receivedseveral
Correct your spelling
Governing Body received several
 recommendations to give their prestigious attention
toeducating
Correct your spelling
to educating
 people rather than providing them with health facilities. In
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
In this
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 essay, we will shed light on
this
Linking Words
 issue. We will discuss positive and negative aspects and
finally
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, give our view on what degree we approve or disapprove
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
of this
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 narrative. First and foremost, let’s discuss some benefits of promoting and adopting the suggestion of focusing more on funding education. One of the premium rewards ,is a sensible nation that knows how to deal with different situations in terms of their individual life and on a country level as well.
For instance
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, one of France's great leaders
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, Napolean
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Napolean
Use the right word
Napoleon
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, said If you give me well-educated mothers,
then
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 I’ll give u a great nation. So,
to conclude
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, profits behind financing tutoring are far greater and more everlasting and can help build a great,
established
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established,
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 trained nation.
In contrast
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, now let us elaborate on
someadvantages
Correct your spelling
some advantages
 of the health system in our lives that oppose the promotion of the government focusing more on teaching people. The primary profit is fighting unexpected diseases. The better the well-being department, the greater its usage in resisting viral illnesses, like as COVID-19 .Countries with established strength sectors resisted the COVID-19disorder very well , and their loss was minutes. In a nutshell, for better standards of living,
form
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Form
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 care is really important as we discussed its gains. To summarise,
this
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 whole debate of frequent urging to the government by
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 to focus on supporting coaching rather than healthcare. We have discussed both positive and negative points of
this
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 discussion , and it pushes me to say that I strongly
,
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apply
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 support the stance of funding education more since it is more fruitful than financing healthcare.

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structure
Plan your essay well. Say your view at the start, then explain both sides, and end with your view again.
cohesion
Use simple links to show a change in idea, like and, but, however. It makes your flow easier.
content
Keep one idea in each part and explain with a simple example.
language
Check your grammar. Use short, clear sentences.
task
Stick to the task. Do not add ideas not asked in the prompt.
content
The essay shows a view at the end.
content
There are some points that give why the view is true.
structure
The opening talks about the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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