IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays the football supporters behave violently what is the cause ? How we can solve it ?

Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 growing
supporters
Use synonyms
retion
Correct your spelling
retention
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 the future of every
kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind
show examples
 of game
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, in some
games
Add a comma
games,
show examples
 fans show their aggression
speacilly
Correct your spelling
especially
 in
football
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of reasons which can be tackled by taking some steps of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wisdom . The following essay will shed some light on
this
Linking Words
 topic .
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 and relevant reason is " consumption of
alchols
Correct your spelling
alcohol
 and drugs "
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
; due
show examples
 to
this
Linking Words
fans
Punctuation problem
, fans
show examples
 forget the difference between wrong and right
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
turn
Correct subject-verb agreement
turns
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 dangerous
violence
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, two gangs follow their favourite teams under the influence of drugs and
liquor
Punctuation problem
liquor,
show examples
gets
Verb problem
which leads
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 verbal and physical arguments with each
other
Punctuation problem
other,
show examples
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why it will problem not only for
oghwr
Correct your spelling
other
 people who
enjoying
Verb problem
are enjoying
show examples
 the match
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
match
Correct article usage
the match
show examples
 can be cancelled . The second major reason is that
supporters
Use synonyms
 show their aggression
due to
Linking Words
 their ego in
Use synonyms
football
Punctuation problem
football,
show examples
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why they do
vulger
Correct your spelling
vulgar
 activities
such
Linking Words
 as throw cups and bottles
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 each other and exchange wrong
converstion
Correct your spelling
conversation
 with other team
supporters
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
goes
Verb problem
leads
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 fighting
abd violance
Correct your spelling
and violence
Punctuation problem
. Hence
show examples
hence
Linking Words
 , some serious injuries can
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
occur
occured
Punctuation problem
occured,
show examples
 whether they are
supporters
Use synonyms
 or players as well .
In addition
Linking Words
, it can be solved if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and management
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
take hard actions against the
vialoance
Correct your spelling
violence
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as in
Use synonyms
football
Correct article usage
a football
show examples
 stadium
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of security
gurds
Correct your spelling
guards
 should be increased so that the level of checking
get
Verb problem
can
show examples
 be
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
 and illegal drugs
can nit
Use the right word
cannot
show examples
 be
bringed
Correct your spelling
brought
 inside the stadium
Punctuation problem
. As
show examples
as a
Linking Words
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
 the
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 of games will be safer and
violance
Correct your spelling
violence
 can be under
controlled
Replace the word
control
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,
supporters
Use synonyms
 who create the dangerous
violence
Use synonyms
 should be banned and
Correct article usage
the givernment
show examples
givernment
Correct your spelling
government
 should take legal action against
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
them
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
 , in
Britain
Add a comma
Britain,
show examples
 if anyone
spread
Wrong verb form
spreads
show examples
violence
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
football
Punctuation problem
football,
show examples
 so
poilce
Correct your spelling
police
 take them
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 jail
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
victiams
Correct your spelling
victims
 pay a huge amount of money as a fine
that
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
people are able to enjoy
football
Use synonyms
match
Fix the agreement mistake
matches
show examples
peacfully
Correct your spelling
peacefully
. In conclusion, every supporter
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not want to see
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 favourite team in
tough
Correct article usage
a tough
show examples
 time . But, creating
violence
Use synonyms
 is
nit
Use the right word
not
show examples
path
Correct article usage
the path
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 win and not
support
Correct article usage
the support
show examples
 of
team
Correct article usage
the team
show examples
Linking Words
that
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
 is why people should
also
Linking Words
 think twice before spreading
leathel violance
Correct your spelling
lethal violence
 in any kind of
game
Punctuation problem
game,
show examples
 whether
that is
Linking Words
foot ball
Use the right word
football
show examples
 or
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
 one .

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear map: start with a short view of the task, then give two or three causes, then give a fix, and end with a short final line.
introduction
Use a clean intro that states the task and your view, and a short conclusion that restates main idea.
development
Add more detail to each idea. For each cause or fix, give a simple example readers can see.
language
Fix common spelling and form. Use correct word form and join words well.
coherence
Use linking words to tie ideas so the writing flow is smooth.
style
Keep to simple word. Check your work to clean up mistakes before you end.
content
The topic is clear and you try to cover both causes and fixes.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, body and conclusion.
analysis
Some idea is in the text and shows you know the task.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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