The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and solution of this disturbing trend.

There is no denying the fact that in the

last

Linking Words

ten years, the proportion of overweight

children

Use synonyms

in the

western

Fix capitalization

Western

show examples

part of the world has largely increased.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the causes and the solutions of the overweight

children

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are many reasons for the rising rates of childhood obesity.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the major problem is the lack of education.

In other words

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

schools work on giving crucial information about history, math, science, and language, they have not taken care of the serious causes and the consequences of eating fast

food

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, the norm of society plays a huge role in affecting a child's eating

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, many studies have shown that 88% of

children

Use synonyms

's diet is greatly influenced by their parents' diet. In terms of the solutions, both

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and schools should collaborate to ensure that students receive the proper knowledge about

food

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

by creating educational programs. It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that when students are more aware of things, like unhealthy ingredients, how an unhealthy diet affects our mental and physical health in the long-term, and why we eat in the first place, all of which contribute greatly to making

children

Use synonyms

more likely to choose healthier options.

Moreover

Linking Words

helding

Correct your spelling

holding

competitions at school can be quite exciting and educational for students.

For example

Linking Words

, rewarding individuals who consume more healthy

food

Use synonyms

at the end

Linking Words

of the semester can

be encouraging

Wrong verb form

encourage

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

adopt healthier

food

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, there are many reasons behind

children

Use synonyms

's obesity. It is

also

Linking Words

true that spreading awareness about the importance of healthy

food

Use synonyms

can largely reduce the concerning trend.

ashw_404

Aug 28, 2025

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Task Response

To improve task response, make your view clear and add more facts or ideas to back it up. give more exact ideas for what to do about the problem.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, use a clear plan. Start each paragraph with a main idea and end with a word that joins to the next idea.

Language

Use simple words and check spelling. Use examples to show your point, and avoid hard words the reader may not know.

Strength

There is a clear plan of causes and fixes.

Strength

Linking words are used to show how ideas fit.

Strength

The topic stays on the issue of kids’ weight and what to do about it.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary lifestyle
processed foods
caloric intake
nutritional value
advertising
healthy habits
socioeconomic status
prevalence
intervention
lifestyle changes
public health
nutritional education
physical activity
screen time

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and solution of this disturbing trend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

One long-distance flight consumes fuel which a car uses in several years’ time, but they cause the same amount of pollution. So same people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourist travel, rather than to limit the use of cars.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to the enrollment officer in a college requesting an exception for joining

Some people believe that social networking sites have a considerably detrimental effect on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? 5.0

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.