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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowdays, experience is more valued in workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outwight the disavantages?

In
theese
Correct your spelling
these
 days,
emplyers
Correct your spelling
employers
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
 over knowledge in many countries. The provided situation may be looked at from
Correct article usage
the possitions
show examples
possitions
Correct your spelling
positions
 of advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly
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, one advantage is that
people
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 who have
experience
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 can start to work right away
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefor
Use the right word
therefore
show examples
, there is less training needed
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 hired
empoyes
Correct your spelling
employees
 can start to work right away.
As a result
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, by hiring an experienced
worker
Punctuation problem
worker,
show examples
 you can save time and money. My second plus is that
people
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 with a past in employment have better logical solutions to problems.
For example
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, workers can
adopt
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adapt
show examples
 to the new space
easier
Rephrase
more easily
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, they are expected to make
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
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 mistakes and be more punctual. In my
view
Add a comma
view,
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 these are the values that no
degree
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 can give to
a
Correct article usage
an
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 individual.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 there may be many advantages on why
people
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 prefer to
hire
Wrong verb form
hiring
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people
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 with
experience
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 rather than
widsom
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wisdom
, there are as many disadvantages. The
negtive
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negative
 effect that I would like to highlight is that students who are fresh out of college can have a hard time finding a job,
hence
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 the hard work these youths put in
geeting
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getting
 a
degree
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 is wasted.
Due to
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of free
time
Add a comma
time,
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 students can't participate in any
after studies
Use the right word
after-school
show examples
acitities
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activities
,
thus
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 it is
almoust
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almost
 impossible for them to get any working
experience
Use synonyms
. I
belive
Use the right word
believe
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 that all these hard professions,
for instance
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, doctors, lawyers and scientists can never be replaced by
experience
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, you must get a specific type of
degree
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 to be
considerate
Replace the word
considered
show examples
 a part of
this
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comunity
Correct your spelling
community
. In conclusion, it is beneficial that
experience
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 is valued
nowdays
Use the right word
nowadays
show examples
, it gives others a chance to prove themselves
withou
Correct your spelling
without
 a
degree
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, but it
also
Linking Words
 takes away a lack of workforce for young
people
Use synonyms
 who
just
Verb problem
have just
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 finished the highest level of education.

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planning
Plan your answer. Start with a clear view in the first paragraph, then add the two sides.
structure
Make each paragraph about one idea only.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas go with each other.
development
Give a clear, simple example for each point to make it easy to see.
accuracy
Check spelling and grammar, and fix common mistakes.
content
You give both sides of the idea, which shows you know the topic.
development
You use some examples to support your points.
structure
There is a conclusion that sums up the view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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