Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drink that has scientifically been proved to have bad effects on people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagreeSome people think that shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drink that has scientifically been proved to have bad effects on people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In many countries, policymakers are debating the effectiveness of outright bans on unhealthy food and drinks to improve public
health
Use synonyms
.
While
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some argue that
such
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measure is considered
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oppression, I believe that it is necessary to improve the population's
health
Use synonyms
and the economic growth.
To begin
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with, consuming
sustenances
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substances
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that have side effects on physical and mental
health
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should be banned. Shops' products are often high in harmful substances,
such
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as salt, sugar, and trans fats, which
Punctuation problem
, consuming
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consuming them
Wrong verb form
when consumed
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regularly
Punctuation problem
regularly,
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eventually lead to chronic diseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and cardiovascular diseases.
Therefore
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,
health
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-related issues increase the burden on healthcare services, producing not only an unhealthy population but
also
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a struggling economy.
For example
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, a 2023 study in Singapore showed a significant decline in
health
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issues after the government forbade shops from selling processed food.
Furthermore
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, the government should enact a ban on harmful foods and drinks to keep communities organised and productive. To illustrate
this
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, fast food and unhealthy beverages often undermine mental and physical abilities, which negatively influence
on
Change preposition
apply
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residents' productivity, leading to a stagnant economy.
For instance
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, in Saudi Arabia, an absolute ban on alcohol is the primary reason for its thriving economy and healthy population.
Consequently
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, if authorities enacted a law that
forbids
Wrong verb form
forbade
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a wide variety of unhealthy items,
such
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a measure would solve almost all
health
Use synonyms
-related issues.
To conclude
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,
although
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some may argue that consumption should be based on personal freedom, I am convinced that an outright ban on unhealthy items is required. Public
health
Use synonyms
affects the whole nation by causing a strain on healthcare institutions and decreasing the citizens' productivity.

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task
Strengthen the task response by restating your view in the intro and again in the conclusion, and make sure every paragraph has a clear, single main idea linked to your view.
coherence
Use clear links to guide the reader from one idea to the next. Avoid repeating phrases and use simple linking words.
content
Check facts and keep claims simple and true. Do not use strong statements without proof.
task
The essay shows a clear position on the topic.
lexical
There are some good topic words and some logical examples.
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