IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

plans below show a public Park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

These maps illustrate the changes in a public
park
Use synonyms
 from its establishment in 1920 to now.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the plan has changed a lot during that period. Some recreational facilities were relocated.
For example
Linking Words
, there were three rose gardens in 1920.
Then
Linking Words
, they were removed, and there is a big rose garden in the middle of the
park
Use synonyms
 now.
Similarly
Linking Words
, all the sitting areas were eliminated, and there are four seats around a garden today.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a new café was built on the right side of the northern entrance
instead
Linking Words
 of one of the rose gardens.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was a pond for water plants and a greenhouse on the east side of the layout, which were replaced by a children’s play area and a water feature, respectively. Some places were developed.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was a stage for musicians in 1920.
Then
Linking Words
, it was expanded to the west.
Hence
Linking Words
, there is a big amphitheatre for concerts these days.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the two entrances from Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street remained unchanged, a new entrance through the underground car
park
Use synonyms
 was made on the east corner of the plan. All in all,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 has converted into a more marvellous place.

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structure
Give a clear view of how the park changes. Start with an overall idea, then list the changes in order.
structure
Group ideas by change type: things moved, things added, and new paths. Then compare to 1920 map in each group.
accuracy
Check that all facts are correct and keep a calm tone. Do not mix up 'unchanged' with 'new' entrances.
language
Use simple linking words to show contrast and addition: but, also, however, and then.
overview
Good overall summary of how the park changes.
cohesion
Clear use of linking words to show order and contrast.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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