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Band 7

The table gives information about department and online stores in Australia in 2011.

The table gives information about department and online stores in Australia in 2011.
The table illustrates key information about online and
department
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
 in four categories
:
Punctuation problem
:
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 number of businesses,
profit
Use synonyms
,
sales
Use synonyms
 revenue, and growth in Australia in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the table that the number of businesses in online
stores
Use synonyms
 is significantly higher than that of
department
Use synonyms
 shops.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
profit
Use synonyms
 is a slight difference between the two types of
stores
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the number of
department
Use synonyms
 shops was 67,
while
Linking Words
 the online
stores
Use synonyms
 were about 5 times more than the first type , with 368 .
Also
Linking Words
, the proportion of the
department
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
' growth was 4%, which is nearly the percentage of growth for online
stores
Use synonyms
 (6%). In terms of
profit
Use synonyms
 and
sales
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, the
profit
Use synonyms
 of the hypermarket was 807 Australian dollars, and the
profit
Use synonyms
 of the online shops was 863 AUD.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
sales
Use synonyms
 revenue of
department
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
 surpassed the
sales
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 revenue of the online
stores
Use synonyms
 (13,400 and 12,700 AUD, respectively.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words department, stores, profit, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revenue
  • customer satisfaction
  • product range
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • observable trends
  • shopping habits
  • preferences
  • traditional department stores
  • online shopping
  • significant differences
  • comparison
  • examination
  • analysis
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