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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station.

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station.
The illustration demonstrates the comprehensive process of electricity generation in a
power
Use synonyms
 station.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the process works as a continuous
day
Use synonyms
-and-night cycle and consists of several stages, commencing with the collection of
water
Use synonyms
 behind the dam, followed by opening the intake gate during the
day
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
 delivering
water
Use synonyms
 to the
power
Use synonyms
 station to generate electricity.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 is returned to the upper
reservoir
Use synonyms
, and the system repeats itself the next
day
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the river is held behind the dam, storing
water
Use synonyms
 in a high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
. During the
day
Use synonyms
, the intake is opened, and
water
Use synonyms
 slides down through the main pipe to the reversible turbines. Here, the passing
water
Use synonyms
 turns the turbines, which operate the generators in the
power
Use synonyms
 station.
Finally
Linking Words
, electricity is conducted to the national grid by
power
Use synonyms
 lines. Meanwhile, the used
water
Use synonyms
 is collected in a low-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 after passing through the turbines. At night, the turbines’ function is reversed, and they operate as pumps.
As a result
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 is pumped into the high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 through the same pipe
that is
Linking Words
 used during the
day
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 is brought back to the first
reservoir
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
 the intake gate is closed.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 process can be repeated the following
day
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words power, water, day, reservoir with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Reservoir
  • Penstock
  • Turbine
  • Generator
  • Transformer
  • High voltage
  • Renewable energy
  • Kinetic energy
  • Potential energy
  • Power grid
  • Sustainable
  • Flow rate
  • Energy conversion
  • Hydraulic pressure
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