2: More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their appearance in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, it has become increasingly common for

people

Use synonyms

to invest significant sums of money in beauty products and surgeries to maintain a youthful appearance.

This

Linking Words

trend raises important questions about the reasons behind

such

Linking Words

actions and whether it is

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

or negative development. One major reason why

people

Use synonyms

want to look younger is the strong influence of societal standards. Media, advertising, and celebrities often promote youthful looks.

As a result

Linking Words

, many

individuals

Use synonyms

fear that

aging

Use the right word

ageing

show examples

will make them less desirable or respected. Another factor is the workplace environment. In competitive job markets, older employees may believe that looking younger helps them stay energetic and employable, because a number of companies often

requests

Correct subject-verb agreement

request

show examples

young

individuals

Use synonyms

compared to

old

Correct word choice

older

show examples

ones as they perceive the technology more. In my view,

this

Linking Words

development has both positive and negative aspects. On the positive side,

people

Use synonyms

have the right to choose how they want to present themselves, and if cosmetic treatments boost their confidence, it may improve mental well-being.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the beauty industry creates jobs and influences economically.

However

Linking Words

, the negative consequences should not be ignored. Excessive spending on beauty can create financial burdens.It may

also

Linking Words

lead to health risks when

individuals

Use synonyms

undergo repeated surgeries or use untested products.

This

Linking Words

as a result

Linking Words

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

serious diseases which cost a fortune to treat or probable demise of

people

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

strive to look younger mainly because of social pressure and career concerns.

While

Linking Words

there are some benefits, I believe the

overall

Linking Words

impact is negative, as it promotes superficial values and can harm both

individuals

Use synonyms

and society.

musabekovaferuza50

Aug 30, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Task Response: The essay answers the question and shows a view at the end. It would gain more marks with clear, strong examples and a clear statement on why the view is positive or negative.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: Paragraphs are used and linking words are seen. Some sentences are long or not clear. Use shorter sentences and make clear links from one idea to the next.

overall

Clear lead to the topic and a closing view.

structure

Use of linking words like however and in conclusion.

analysis

Uses both sides of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you thinking that is happening? How can this issue be solved?
The declining number of fauna and flora around the globe is a concerning problem. This writer believes that the main roots of this are excessive hunting and environmental damage, which can be addressed by applying stricter rules on the ecology.
6
band
(2024) You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: say about the concert say why you are unable to go inform how your friend can receive the ticket
I know it's been a while since I wrote you a letter. I am writing this letter to offer you a concert ticket that I won’t be using.
8.5
band
Your next-door neighbor likes to listen to music late at night. Because of the loud music, you often lose sleep. Write a letter to the neighbor. In your letter describe the situation explain the problems it is causing you offer at least one solution
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to bring to your attention a matter that has been affecting my well-being over the past few weeks.
8
band
the city council has sent you a letter asking for suggestions to improve the banking system in your neighborhood. Write them a letter. Propose a few things to do Tell them about an efficient bank service in another country Say what your future expectations of the banking service are
I am writing, at your request, to make a few practical suggestions about the banking system.
7.5
band
You should spend 40 minutes for this task Some people think that older employees bring more value to a company. Others believe that younger employees are more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You must
In recent years, opinions have diverged on the comparative value of older and younger employees in the workplace, raising a key debate about which group contributes more significantly to an organization. From my perspective, I strongly believe that both age groups offer unique strengths that, when combined, can greatly enhance a company's performance. In this essay, I will explore the advantages of each group and provide my viewpoint on why a balanced workforce is essential.

2: More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their appearance in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you thinking that is happening? How can this issue be solved?

(2024) You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: say about the concert say why you are unable to go inform how your friend can receive the ticket

Your next-door neighbor likes to listen to music late at night. Because of the loud music, you often lose sleep. Write a letter to the neighbor. In your letter describe the situation explain the problems it is causing you offer at least one solution

the city council has sent you a letter asking for suggestions to improve the banking system in your neighborhood. Write them a letter. Propose a few things to do Tell them about an efficient bank service in another country Say what your future expectations of the banking service are

You should spend 40 minutes for this task Some people think that older employees bring more value to a company. Others believe that younger employees are more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You must