It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Currently, occupation has become a broad issue for the general public. Some argue that it is perfect for
people
Use synonyms
to choose
unemployment
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
others disapprove of
this
Linking Words
perspective. The following essay will shed light on
this
Linking Words
viewpoint, becoming a heated topic in contemporary society. On the one hand, it is imperative to recognise that there are several substantial benefits of
unemployment
Use synonyms
. A pivotal point to consider is that the mental health of unemployed
people
Use synonyms
is preserved, which emphasises that remaining unemployed can help each person avoid the stress, anxiety, and depression
due to
Linking Words
stay in an unfulfilling or toxic job environment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, an additional crucial aspect to highlight is the quality of life.
This
Linking Words
stems from the understanding that
people
Use synonyms
may prioritise their well-being and happiness over a paycheck, valuing time with their family, friends, or personal interests more than financial gain from a dissatisfying job.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is vital to examine the opposing viewpoint
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
the advantages of jobs. A noteworthy factor to consider is financial stability, which emphasises that even an unsatisfying job provides a steady income, which is essential for covering basic needs
such
Linking Words
as housing, food, healthcare, and bills.
Besides
Linking Words
, holding any
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
builds a work history and develops transferable skills, making it easier to find better opportunities in the future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is necessary to underscore that careers play a key role in security.
This
Linking Words
assertion is supported by the fact that many jobs take advantage of health insurance, retirement plans, and
unemployment
Use synonyms
protection that are not available to the unemployed. Particularly, supporting oneself or one’s family, even through a less-than-ideal occupation, can foster a sense of responsibility and independence. In conclusion, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
a range of conveniences when
people
Use synonyms
follow a career.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
unemployment
Use synonyms
is
also
Linking Words
a good choice. Ultimately, I fairly agree with the former and latter. I believe that it depends on each individual’s option.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

taskResponse
State a clear view in the opening and restate it in the conclusion.
taskResponse
Develop each point with more detail or example.
language
Fix grammar and word use that make meaning unclear.
language
Use simple but precise words and check spelling.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea and use linking words to connect ideas.
structure
The essay uses a clear two-side setup with 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
content
It raises ideas about mental health and security, which are relevant.
structure
An introduction and a conclusion are present.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: