IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.
The line graph presents the fertility and mortality
rates
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand from 1901, with projections extending until 2101.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total number of deaths increased throughout the period,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of births is expected to experience a decline. In terms of mortality
rates
Use synonyms
, it increased gradually with minor oscillations from nearly 10.000 in 1901 to just under 30.000 in 2001 and continued to grow until 2021.
This
Linking Words
 figure is
also
Linking Words
 projected to rise and surpass the birth
rates
Use synonyms
 in 2041.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by 2061, the number of deaths is estimated to reach around 59.000 before falling slightly to approximately 56.000 in the final year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of births increased from 20.000 in 1901 to around 65.000 in 1961, making it the highest point recorded.
However
Linking Words
, it was volatile from 1981 to 2001, ranging between 60.000 and 50.000.
In addition
Linking Words
, the projection of birth
rates
Use synonyms
 is likely to fall
further
Linking Words
, reaching less than 45.000 in 2101.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words rates with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: