IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, the use of renewable energy sources is being encouraged. Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Energy
Use synonyms
, it's what
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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runs the
world
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world,
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 comes from various
sources
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. But we can
divided
Wrong verb form
divide
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 the
sources
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 into two large
sector
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sectors
show examples
, the renewable
sources
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 and the
non renewable
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non-renewable
show examples
sources
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.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 many countries promote using renewable
sources
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.
This
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 essay will try to depict
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the positives of using renewable
sources
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 with some relevant
example
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examples
show examples
. Using renewable
sources
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ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
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 one thing, the minimum
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
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 to our environment. Whatever
energy
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 source we use,
Correct pronoun usage
it cause
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 destruction of the atmosphere
by
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in
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 a range starting from very low to very high. Since renewable
sources
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 don't contain hydrocarbon, which is the principal factor for global warming,
Linking Words
thus
Rephrase
apply
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emissions from renewable
sources
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 are relatively safer. It's pertinent to mention that
non renewable
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non-renewable
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sources
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such
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 as fossil
fues cointain
Correct your spelling
fuels contain
hydrocarbon
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hydrocarbons
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. When these are burnt to create
energy
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, they emit the
by products
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byproducts
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 of hydrocarbon into
air
Correct article usage
the air
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 climb up
at
Change preposition
to
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 the highest strata of the
atmosphere
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atmosphere,
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thus
Linking Words
 creating a layer which hinders the release of heat by the earth.
Consequently
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warming
Punctuation problem
, warming
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 our earth
generally
Verb problem
is generally
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 known as green
house
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greenhouse
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 effect.
Besides
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, renewable energies are sustainable in
long
Correct article usage
the long
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 run,
has more
Wrong verb form
have a higher
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 efficiency ratio than their counterpart fossil fuel
that
Linking Words
is to
Verb problem
To
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 explain, every system has some
energy
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 loss
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 reduces
it's
Use the right word
its
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 efficiency and many other benefits. We can take the example of Germany
Punctuation problem
, who
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who
Fix the agreement mistake
which
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 is a pioneer in renewable
energy
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, where
energy
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 prices are comparatively lower than
other
Change preposition
in other
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 European countries, air quality is much
augmented
Verb problem
improved
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 and a better efficiency of
energy
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 usage. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 I would like to say that using renewable
energy
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perhaps
Verb problem
is perhaps
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 the
most wise
Correct word choice
wisest
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 decision that we could take to make
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
our future a safer place

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Structure
Plan your ideas before you write. Put one big idea in each part and keep each sentence to one idea.
Grammar
Check your grammar. Look for mistakes like subject-verb errors and miss‑spell words.
Coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas, such as first, also, but, for example.
Content
Give more detail to each point. Add a real example and explain it in a simple way.
Task Response
If you show a view, you can add a small counter idea and then say why your view is stronger, then finish with a clear end line.
Language Accuracy
Check spelling and cap use at the start of sentences and proper names.
Idea
You show that renewables can help the climate.
Example
You add one real example (Germany) to back your view.
Structure
You end with a clear finish that restates your view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • renewable energy
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • climate change
  • energy independence
  • pollution
  • energy sources
  • investment
  • employment
  • sustainable development
  • solar energy
  • wind energy
  • hydroelectric power
  • geopolitical tensions
  • energy bills
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
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