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Writing Samples
Band 5

People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past.What do you think is the reason behind this?What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

There is no denying the fact that many people nowadays do not get enough sleep.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon and its major effects on individuals.
To begin
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 with, there are several reasons for sleeping less these days.
Firstly
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, long working hours have become the norm in society. Sometimes,
this
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 can be
due to
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 the incentive of getting a promotion, earning higher salaries, or they may be forced to complete assigned projects.
Therefore
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, they often do not get adequate sleep.
In addition
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, the
fast paced
Use the right word
fast-paced
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 life we are experiencing in the past few years
,
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 significantly contributes to the quality of sleep.
For example
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, people now try to keep up with what is going on around the world through news and social media platforms, which can be overwhelming and greatly affect their sleeping habits. Regarding the effects of
such
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 a trend, it does more harm than good. It is possible to say that getting only 4 or 5 hours of sleep affects
the
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physical health. Workers who have to stand up for long hours develop knee and foot problems.
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Similarly
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Similarly,
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 when sitting for a long period of
time
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time,
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 workers struggle with neck or back issues, as many recent studies have shown.
Moreover
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, it can lead to mental issues.
For instance
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, lack of focus, anxiety, stress, less patience, and weaker memory, all of which are mental effects of sleeping less. In conclusion, there are many reasons for the poor sleeping patterns. It is
also
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 true that
this
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 approach can lead to lots of mental and physical problems.

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planning
State a clear view in the intro and keep that view through the essay.
content
Add 2 or 3 strong, clear examples for each point.
grammar
Break long sentences into shorter ones to avoid run on.
structure
Break your writing into well used parts; have one idea for each paragraph and start with a topic sentence.
grammar
Check verb tense and preposition use for accuracy.
structure
The essay has a clear plan and good use of linking words like To begin with and Moreover.
content
There is an introduction and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sleep
  • sleep less
  • sleep more
  • reason
  • cause
  • effect
  • impact
  • tired
  • tiredness
  • energy
  • focus
  • memory
  • health
  • stress
  • worry
  • anxiety
  • habit
  • routine
  • sleep pattern
  • night
  • day
  • light
  • dark
  • noise
  • screen
  • phone
  • computer
  • coffee
  • tea
  • alcohol
  • schedule
  • sleep quality
  • bed
  • rest
  • nap
  • short nap
  • safety
  • accident
  • driving
  • daylight
  • sun
  • exercise
  • home
  • family
  • work
  • study
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