IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some museum and art galeries charge admission fees while other have free entry. Do you think the advantages of admission fees outweigh the disadvantages.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Atr
Use the right word
Art
show examples
galeries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 and
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
show
Use the right word
showcase
show examples
Use synonyms
history
Check wording
apply
show examples
of the country, some are
chargeble
Correct your spelling
chargeable
 and some are free entry, in my view
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 has to be free for
everyone
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
 we see about advantages and disadvantages
both
Change preposition
from both
show examples
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
Some
Fix capitalization
some
show examples
 country has their own
history
Use synonyms
, and they are very precious
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them
Linking Words
although
Punctuation problem
, although
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 people are close to them and proud of them
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 important part of them.
Correct article usage
The Goverment
show examples
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should take care of them
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
foreigners
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
come
visit
Verb problem
to visit
show examples
 that museums and art
galaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
.
Also
Linking Words
, it is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
attracted
Replace the word
attractive
show examples
 place for allover the country.
For example
Linking Words
,
In india
Use the right word
in India
show examples
, it has
losts
Correct your spelling
lots
 of museums which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 part of the
history
Use synonyms
 and they are free for
everyone
Use synonyms
, people
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
come and visit
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
, they are
Correct article usage
an attrection
show examples
attrection
Correct your spelling
attraction
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the outer person who
like
Verb problem
apply
show examples
love
Correct subject-verb agreement
loves
show examples
history
Use synonyms
 and
Verb problem
is intrested
show examples
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
. Foreigners are
comeing
Correct your spelling
coming
 and visiting to 'Taj
mahal
Fix capitalization
Mahal
show examples
' and
reveniw
Correct your spelling
revenue
 will
be increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people are
realy
Correct your spelling
really
 like that
kide
Correct your spelling
kind
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
galary
Correct your spelling
gallery
 and museum which
is give
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
 something knowledge but they can not
afforte
Correct your spelling
afford
 the tickets.
However
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free entry
Rephrase
apply
show examples
hence
Linking Words
, they can not maintain that great part of the
county
Use the right word
country
show examples
 and, for that,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
government take tickets for
maintaince
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 for
collection
Correct article usage
the collection
show examples
 of the
history
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, if the entry
free
Use the right word
fee
show examples
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the nominal and low
price
Punctuation problem
price,
show examples
 it will be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easer
Use the right word
easier
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
everyone
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
As far as
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 am concerned
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, Museum art
galeries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 would be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free and nominal fees which
everyone
Use synonyms
 can
affored
Correct your spelling
afford
. Some
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, they take fees from them
beaucse maintance
Correct your spelling
because maintenance
 of the monuments
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 important.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

overall
Start with a clear view and end with one clear line.
coherence
Make one idea per paragraph and use simple link words to show side A and side B.
language
Use easy words. Do not use long or hard word. Keep grammar simple.
task achievement
Give more exact facts or places to back points.
lexical
Check spell of key words like government, maintenance, free entry.
task achievement
Be clear about your view in the last line.
content
The essay tries to show both sides.
structure
The 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' give structure.
content
The idea of free entry is clear.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: