IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.

The bar chart compares the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who attended cinemas in a European country on different days of the week in 2003, 2005, and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 weekends, especially Saturday, were the most popular days for cinema visits across all three years,
while
Linking Words
weekdays
Use synonyms
 generally attracted fewer
people
Use synonyms
. The proportion of
attendance
Use synonyms
 was relatively stable on Fridays,
whereas
Linking Words
 other days showed some noticeable fluctuations. On Saturdays, cinema
attendance
Use synonyms
 was by far the highest, peaking at around 40% in 2003, 45% in 2005, and slightly lower at 43% in 2007. Sundays were
also
Linking Words
 popular, with figures ranging from 30% to 34% over the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
weekdays
Use synonyms
 recorded much smaller percentages.
For instance
Linking Words
, Monday
attendance
Use synonyms
 varied between 10% and 14%,
while
Linking Words
 Wednesday figures dropped from 16% in 2003 to just 9% in 2007, marking the lowest point across the week. Friday stands out as the only day with consistent
attendance
Use synonyms
, with exactly 30% of
people
Use synonyms
 visiting cinemas in all three years. Meanwhile, Tuesday remained relatively popular compared to other
weekdays
Use synonyms
, with around 20% in 2003 and slightly lower but still significant levels in 2005 and 2007. In conclusion, cinema visits in
this
Linking Words
 country were strongly concentrated on weekends, particularly Saturday,
while
Linking Words
weekdays
Use synonyms
 attracted far fewer
people
Use synonyms
, with Friday being the notable exception
due to
Linking Words
 its stable popularity.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

tip
Add a short intro that says what the chart shows, using simple words.
tip
Give two main ideas in the overview and then use data to back them up.
tip
Group days into weekends and weekdays, and show how the numbers change across the years.
tip
Use simple linking words to move from one idea to the next, like 'also', 'but', 'then'.
tip
Check the numbers you give; use 'about' if you are not sure.
tip
Finish with a short line that sums up the trend.
data use
The text uses many data points from the chart.
structure
There is a clear overall view that weekends are busier.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: