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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The bar chart describes the number of houses that have been built over nine years in the United Kingdom, particularly in
Derby
Use synonyms
 and
Nottingham
Use synonyms
 cities , from the year 2000 to 2009. From a perspective
overall
Linking Words
, it is apparently clear that
Derby
Use synonyms
 city witnessed a significant increase in house constructions over the period,
while
Linking Words
Nottingham
Use synonyms
 showed a clear fluctuation, and ended up with a rapid development in house buildings. At the beginning of the period,
Derby
Use synonyms
 had lesser amount of houses than
Nottingham
Use synonyms
, nearly 49.
However
Linking Words
, in 2001, it remained consistent with no change,
while
Linking Words
 in the following year, it rapidly rose to around 98 condos with a clear decline in houses in
Nottingham
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, from 2003 to 2007,
Derby
Use synonyms
 remained steady,
whereas
Linking Words
 the other city was gradually growing until 2005,
then
Linking Words
 it dramatically dropped to only 1 house.
In addition
Linking Words
,
a
Fix capitalization
A
show examples
 swift turnover occurred in 2007, where
Nottingham
Use synonyms
 outraced
Derby
Use synonyms
 by almost 200 living places.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the following year,
Nottingham
Use synonyms
 experienced a sharp decline in dwellings of around only 3.
Besides
Linking Words
,
Derby
Use synonyms
 continued to rise in the
last
Linking Words
 two years, reaching to peak, at approximately 350 accommodations.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words derby, nottingham with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapid" was used 2 times.
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