IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that universities should focus on preparing students for specific careers, while others think they should provide general education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many individuals think that universities should provide more specific
learnings
Fix the agreement mistake
learning
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 for
programm
Correct your spelling
programs
,
while
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 others
that
Verb problem
think that
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 they should
also
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 teach general education
too
Rephrase
apply
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. In my opinion,
for students
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it
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will
Wrong verb form
would
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 be better to get learning for more fields of
Use synonyms
knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
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 for reasons which I will outline in the following essay.
To begin
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 with, if
universtities
Correct your spelling
universities
will
Verb problem
apply
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focus only on specific lessons for careers, they will get better
on
Change preposition
at
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 them, without any attention to other subjects, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them professionals in
one
Use synonyms
 field.
Moreover
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, with a lot of lessons will be very hard to concentrate on each
one
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,
due to
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big
Correct word choice
the large
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amounts
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number
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 of them like in schools and their great difference.
For instance
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, people who concentrate only on
one
Use synonyms
 area of
Use synonyms
knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
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 with more
per cents
Use the right word
percentages
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 get
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
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and
Correct word choice
apply
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and become masters of it.
This
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 is more important
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then
Use the right word
than
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 being
avarage
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average
 in everything.
On the other hand
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, general education can provide
Use synonyms
knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
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 from different sciences and how
can they
Correct word order
they can
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 combine. Very useful to be
same
Correct word choice
apply
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developed in each area to use all of them in my work.
For example
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, Leonardo Da Vinci became the greatest,
due to
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 his learnings in biology,
phisics
Correct your spelling
physics
, chemistry,art and mathematics.
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This
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These
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 sciences help him to
devepol
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develop
 new inventions and write the
mastepiece
Correct your spelling
masterpiece
, he used all of them in
one
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 development before
ever
Rephrase
anyone else
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does
Wrong verb form
did
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.
This
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 is
Correct article usage
a realife
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realife
Correct your spelling
real-life
 example of
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
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 of
eche
Correct your spelling
each
 area of
studies
Fix the agreement mistake
study
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. In conclusion,
while
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 focusing on preparing
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 for only specific careers can provide better
learnings
Fix the agreement mistake
learning
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 in
this
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 field and concentrations,
getting
Verb problem
gaining
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Use synonyms
knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
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 from general education is more important for
development
Replace the word
developing
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 new inventions, in order to
combination
Replace the word
combine
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 of sciences
in
Change preposition
into
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one
Use synonyms
 piece.

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structure
Use short, clear sentences. Each paragraph has one idea.
coherence
Add words that link ideas to show how they fit.
development
Add more details and a clear reason for each point.
language
Check spelling and grammar to avoid big mistakes.
content
The essay shows the view and a plan to write more.
content
Some examples are used to show how ideas come.
content
The writer uses contrast to show two sides.
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