IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Higher education can be funded in several ways including the following; 1. All costs are paid by the government. 2. All costs are paid by the student. 3. All costs are paid by the student using loan from the government that must be paid after graduation. Discuss the benefits of each option. Which one is the best?

Higher education can be funded in different ways
including
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, including
show examples
 the following
;
Punctuation problem
:
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 1. All fees are covered by the
government
Use synonyms
. 2.
Students
Use synonyms
themselved
Correct your spelling
themselves
 pay for the tuition. 3.
Students
Use synonyms
 get a loan
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that will be returned to the
government
Use synonyms
 after graduation. Each method offers unique advantages, but in my view, that the
government
Use synonyms
 should pay all costs is the most
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 option among others. When the powers pay all higher education costs, it makes life easier, and it is fair towards the taxpayer.
For example
Linking Words
, since the authorities demand
from
Change preposition
that
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 their inhabitants
to
Verb problem
apply
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pay taxes for many reasons,
then
Linking Words
 the
government
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 should afford to cover the graduate school education by paying for the
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
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bachelor
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bachelor's
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 at least. Moving to costs paid by the
students
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 themselves, it is not common that all
students
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 are from wealthy, or at least
working class
Use the right word
working-class
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 families. There
many
Verb problem
are many
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 talented
students
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 from poor
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 can not afford
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to pay
fees
Correct article usage
the fees
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 for their schooling. And, there should be opportunities for
such
Linking Words
 kind of pupils.
Finally
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, the option where the
government
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 offer a loan
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 does not always go as it is planned.
For instance
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, many graduates can not find a job as soon as they complete
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 university
Linking Words
due
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studies due
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 to the shortage of jobs and economic issues.
To conclude
Linking Words
, when the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 offers full scholarships, it is more careful towards the nation since people should benefit
as well as
Linking Words
 the
government
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. And the future of nations
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these
students
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Add more detail for each idea to show depth and proof.
coherence
Use more links so the flow from one idea to the next is smooth.
language
Fix grammar and spell words clearly, but keep simple words.
content
Give more real facts or numbers to back up points.
structure
Plan is clear with an intro, body and end.
coherence
You use small link words to move from idea to idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Socio-economic background
  • Social mobility
  • Higher educated populace
  • Government budget constraints
  • Taxation issues
  • Personal responsibility
  • Financial stake
  • Inequity
  • Enrollment
  • Immediate financial burden
  • Future earnings
  • Long-term debt
  • Graduate
  • Personal stake
What to do next:
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