IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think technology mostly benefits our lives, while others believe it brings more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Technology has a target on its back in individuals’ lives.
This
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 essay will examine these implications and contend that its benefits outweigh the downwards provided governments impose firm safeguards. As a milestone, digital tech continues to mutate and tangibly benefits our lives. One of the significant merits lies in the increasing quality of
people
Use synonyms
’s daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
For instance
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, machines like sweeping robots set
people
Use synonyms
 free from monotonous chores. Another compelling advantage is that it significantly improves work productivity. Remote working has streamlined many processes, making work assignments more efficient and reducing the time and
vigor
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effort
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 for daily commute, thereby decreasing
overall
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 stress.
Besides
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,
hi tech
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hi-tech
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 per se can enhance social inclusion, vertically empowering the
marginalized
Use the right word
marginalised
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 groups. By applying
automatic
Correct article usage
the automatic
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 dictation function to mobile phones, the blind or deaf
people
Use synonyms
 could have access to online information. Some critics are concerned by three risks technology poses
:
Punctuation problem
:
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 over-reliance, privacy erosion and the digital divide. At the individual level, excessive reliance on phones, applications, and games can fuel addiction and reduce self-control. When decisions are outsourced to AI recommendation systems(e.g., DeepSeek, OpenAI),
people
Use synonyms
 may lose independence and
capability
Correct article usage
the capability
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 of solving problems for themselves.
Additionally
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, the weak or uneven regulations of platform data collection expose
people
Use synonyms
 to privacy threats - including mass profiling, intrusive advertising, and even discrimination based on personal information. What's more, the proliferation of smartphones and other devices requires fast adaptation and continuous understanding, which may contribute to stress, especially for the elderly and lead to the digital divide between various communities. These deliberations are valid concerns, which imply
the
Correct article usage
that
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 safety-oriented regulations should be adopted by authorities to mitigate potential risks. An example is bound in Singapore, where
municipal
Correct article usage
the municipal
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 government insists that electronic businesses should take the age-friendly indicator into consideration. In conclusion, technology promises convenience and inclusion; yet it
also
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 raises addictive issues, privacy risks and digital division.
Therefore
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, reasonable legislation should be tabled to quell those worries.

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grammar
Fix grammar and use clear, simple sentences.
structure
Use a clear plan: intro, two body paragraphs, brief conclusion.
content
Add more balanced ideas with clear examples for both sides.
task position
The writer shows a view that tech has good and bad sides.
content
Clear examples such as robots and remote work.
balance
There is a balance in view, not just one side.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • streamlined processes
  • constant connectivity
  • learning and adaptation
  • enhance convenience
  • accessible services
  • remote work
  • flexible schedules
  • work-life balance
  • evolving nature
  • 'always on' culture
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