IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

There is
not
Rephrase
no
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 denying that
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 is very important to the environment, some people look upon it as oppressive and
dictatorship
Replace the word
dictatorial
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behavior
Use the right word
behaviour
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, as far as
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 am content about
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
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 i strongly agree.
To begin
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 with, not all teenagers are interested in
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 but it provides the young with life skills
as well as
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 empathy for others
also
Linking Words
 for building a strong character and a role model for younger generations, by participating in
this
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 teenagers can gain valuable
work
Use synonyms
 experience and develop essential skill for future employment and in the other had add a certificate of participation to there curriculum vitae and resume on there future jobs or colleges.
According to
Linking Words
 a study from Harvard that most teens waste 15
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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 of
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 day on phones
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 as a way to combat
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
community
Punctuation problem
, community
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 will fix
there day to day
Use the right word
their day-to-day
show examples
 routines
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
, therefore
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 lowering the risk of getting
caried
Correct your spelling
carried
 away by
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 phones and avoiding studying,
as a
Linking Words
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
 the
community
Use synonyms
 benefits by keeping the environment,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 they could
work
Use synonyms
 in meal
centers
Use the right word
centres
show examples
these
Punctuation problem
. These
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 facilities are typically run by charitable
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 and volunteers, sometimes in partnership with local churches, and offer food at no cost or a very low price. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, volunteering done by teens
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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had a great impact
in
Change preposition
on
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 the general public
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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teen
Fix the agreement mistake
teens
show examples
 should be encouraged to participate in
this
Linking Words
.

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task response
You show your idea but you do not show enough view of both sides. Add a clear agree or disagree line in the intro and a short plan so the reader knows what you will say.
coherence
Make the essay easier to read. Use a simple order: intro, 2 or 3 points in the body, then a short conclusion.
grammar
Fix the grammar and spelling. Use simple sentences. Check how you spell small words and use proper marks.
tone
You show a clear view on the topic.
content
You give ideas that relate to school life and how teens can gain skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
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