The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given chart shows the number of employees in five different industries in Australia in the period of time between 2001 and 2008.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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sales dominate the other jobs for several years,
while
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the most unwanted work was farming , with a difference of one hundred thousand from the second most popular workplace.
Furthermore
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, all the works had grown their
quantity
Check wording
number
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of workers by 7 years, except accounting and farming.
According to
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what is shown in 2001, the biggest part of community work on sales was slightly above fifteen thousand; in 7 years, it grew to more than 16000.
In contrast
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, the second biggest growth was in computing employees, in 2001 it was 50000, by 2008 year
this
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type of work reached 60000.
Whereas
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accounting not only lost popularity, but
also
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had the smallest drop under 5000, in
2001
Punctuation problem
2001,
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with 6000 and farming 20000,
accordingly
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.
Moreover
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, in terms of a chart, nursing gained
for
Change preposition
apply
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more than 5
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
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workers, in 2008 it rose 60000.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment trends
  • workforce
  • sector
  • industry
  • agriculture
  • services
  • economic factors
  • technological advancements
  • policy changes
  • notable increases/decreases
  • statistical data
  • regional employment patterns
  • comparative analysis
  • percentage points
  • employment rate
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