IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that schools should focus more on teaching students academic subjects like math and science, and less on subjects such as art and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that schools need to pay more attention
on
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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mathmatic
Correct your spelling
mathematics
 and science and reduce art and music classes. But
as
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from
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 my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
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 we have to consider that
all
Rephrase
not all
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 students doesn't have the same interest
about
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in
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subjects
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. I see
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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that these
subjects
Use synonyms
 play a key role
for
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in
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 essential skills and many jobs.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it helps students to think clearly and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 often valued in exams.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of the popular and
high demand
Use the right word
high-demand
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 jobs need math and science knowledge. But when it comes to
student's
Check wording
students'
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 enthusiasm, it isn't only
the
Correct article usage
a
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 matter of
subject's
Correct article usage
the subject's
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 value. because we cannot teach forcefully those students who aren't interested to learn
such
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
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stuff.
While
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 with understanding
individuals
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individuals'
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prefrence
Correct your spelling
preferences
 we can see how
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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 role is
playing
Wrong verb form
played
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 through
the
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their
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are
Use the right word
area
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 and music.
like
Fix capitalization
Like
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, they grow
creativitty
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creativity
, improve
focuse
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focus
 and teamwork and
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
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 calmness
for
Change preposition
to
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 them and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 learning other
subjects
Use synonyms
 easier.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I support
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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 curriculum, to
do
Verb problem
apply
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not cut and remove these
subjects
Use synonyms
 of
Correct article usage
the souls
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souls
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soul
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the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 art and music
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 give them space to grow, to flourish alongside math and science.

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task
Plan your essay. Start with your view in the first line and then give two clear reasons.
coherence
Make ideas flow. Use simple links like and, but, because, also to show how ideas are tied.
examples
Add more detail to each point with one clear example.
content
You state your view clearly and keep to the topic.
content
You note that math and science have value and show some reasons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • school
  • student
  • study
  • math
  • science
  • art
  • music
  • focus
  • subject
  • teacher
  • learn
  • life
  • job
  • idea
  • think
  • problem
  • plan
  • balance
  • creativity
  • teamwork
  • project
  • future
  • grow
What to do next:
Look at other essays: