IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the most important of sience should be to improve people's live to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Scinetific
Correct your spelling
Scientific
 development aids the future of mankind, and its greatest benefit is
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 builds the way to a more streamlined and improved future for people.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
 essay will
show
Verb problem
apply
show examples
first show the
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 age of scientific environments,
then
Linking Words
 it will
analyze
Use the right word
analyse
show examples
 how not every invention
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to good. It's obvious that science is going through its golden era.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 inventions over the
last
Linking Words
 200
years
Use synonyms
 sustained a drastic increase
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there were many
contirbuters
Correct your spelling
contributors
,
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for example
Linking Words
, Thomas Edison invented the
bulb light
Correct word order
light bulb
show examples
 and Radio
others
Punctuation problem
. Others
show examples
 like others like
Albert
Punctuation problem
Albert,
show examples
 created therios that made the
world
Use synonyms
 advance
hunderds
Correct your spelling
hundreds
 of
years
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, not every breakthrough in these fields was for the greater good.
Unfortunately
Add a comma
Unfortunately,
show examples
 there is an abundance of cases where
such
Linking Words
 breakthroughs that ended the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 of millions and led to wars and drastic
hastiorical
Correct your spelling
historical
 events.
for instance
Linking Words
, back in the 1900s a scientest called Robert Oppenhaimer who was infamous for his intilligance decided to help his country during the
World
Use synonyms
 war II and his contirbution led to the creation of the first atomic bomb, which
then
Linking Words
 was used to end the war by killing millions after it was droped on Japan, and to the effects of that tragic war still haunt the whole
world
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
 looked at the
contirbution
Correct your spelling
contribution
 of science in the
last
Linking Words
 200
years
Use synonyms
 and how it
had
Verb problem
has had
show examples
 an exponential growth. It
also
Linking Words
unerwent
Correct your spelling
undertook
 many of the significant inventions in the same
durtion
Correct your spelling
duration
, and how not all of them had a
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 impact. It is apparent that we can say for sure
scince
Correct your spelling
since
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 purpose is to help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human life and
simplfiy
Correct your spelling
simplify
 it.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 the coming
years
Use synonyms
 clearly hold many
surpises
Correct your spelling
surprises
 from
scientific
Correct article usage
the scientific
show examples
 department, hopefully we will
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 a more peaceful
world
Use synonyms
 with these inventions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be clear about your view in the first paragraph. State your stance in one sentence.
structure
Make a plan before you write. Use 4-6 sentences per paragraph. Have a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence
Group similar ideas together. Use topic sentences to start each paragraph.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show order and contrast (first, also, but, however).
language
Spell common words correctly and fix grammar errors. Use simple sentence forms to avoid mistakes.
example usage
Use examples that really support your main point. Explain why they show the benefit or harm of science.
content
Your topic is relevant and you bring some examples like Edison and the atomic bomb.
content
You try to discuss both good and bad sides of science.
idea quality
You recognize the need for a peaceful future and hope from science.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: