The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longerweekend. Do you agree or disagree?

There has been
growing
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a growing
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debate over whether the working
week
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should be shortened to allow for a longer weekend. Personally, I agree to a large extent with
this
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idea, as I believe it benefits both employees and employers. Here are some reasons.
Firstly
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, shortening the working
week
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can significantly improve productivity and employee well-being. It encourages individuals to have enough
rests
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rest
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, so that they can focus more on their
work
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, using less time to
work
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more.
For instance
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, Sweden
trys
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tries
to install
6 hours
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6-hour
work
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settings, finding that employees
work
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more
efficient
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efficiently
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and the
percent
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percentage
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of sick days
decline
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declines
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sharply. If we can reduce overworking and mental
presure
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pressure
, happiness will improve.
Secondly
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, a longer weekend allows for better
work
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-life balance. They will have lots of time to
company
Verb problem
spend with
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their family, cultivate interests and participate
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in excercises
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excercises
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exercises
. In
a
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the
show examples
long term, it can foster loyalty index and cooperation. Google company offers a good example, the company starts to try flexible working hours,
satisfactoy
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satisfaction
of
emplyees
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employees
rise
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rises
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.
Additionally
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, some argue that a shorter working
week
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may reduce
overall
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output.
Whereas
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, researchers show that
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work
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working
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efficiently is more important than long time
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apply
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work
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. It can reduce job-hopping rate and recruitment costs. In conclusion, I strongly believe that a shorter working
week
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with a longer weekend would benefit not only individual workers but
also
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organizations
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organisations
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and society as a whole.

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task response
Your view is clear, but add more detail to each idea and stay on the topic.
coherence
Use linking words to move from one idea to the next and start each part with a main idea.
language use
Use plain words. Fix spelling and grammar. Make examples fit the point.
content
You give a clear view and say you agree.
structure
There is a plan to place ideas in order in paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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